Rational Insanity
By Bryan Mari Argos

When the distance matters

Love is boundless. It is not affected by time, space, and distance. What we feel when someone we love is far from us is not because of the love that we have for that person but because of some other emotion such as anxiety, doubt, or yearning. If the love is true, and the commitment is sincere, there should be no place for such emotions, but, human as we are, we cannot direct our emotions. Why then should there be the sad situation of having someone we love far from us? Why are some people so unfortunate in that the person they love has to be separated from them by an unbearable distance?

Like emotions, we cannot direct fate, either, and sometimes we have to cope with what fate deals to us. Fate can give us many things to make us realize that love makes the person that we love perfect despite his/her imperfections. Being away from us may just be one of those imperfections that we should see beyond if we truly love the person. This is easier said than done, because as I said, we are only human and our emotions always play a role in decision-making. In this regard, some people would say that they don't believe in long distance relationships because such relationships are not based on love but rather on the need to have someone there despite of the absence. I totally disagree with people who say such a thing because I believe that there are some long distance relationships that are based on love. There are long distance relationships that survive their biggest barrier distance. For one, my mother used to work in the US before she came back home (after a very long period) to finally wed my father. Their love story may be just one of many love stories that have to cope or are even currently coping with distance.

When I said that love was boundless, I meant every word of it. People who succeed with long distance relationships may even be considered people who are after a more mature kind of relationship because compared to conventional relationships, long distance relationships have so many other things to consider aside from just the two parties who are involved in such a relationship. People who are in long distance relationships have to cope with the need for the presence of the other who may not be there when an emotional or physical need arises; they have to cope with the possible risks of their partners having to satiate these needs with other people instead of their lovers who are miles away; they have to cope with the anxiety of living everyday in the suspicion that their significant other has found someone else, closer to them physically and able to provide the needs that distance keeps the significant other from providing. Although we can go on and on enumerating what things one must cope with in a long-distance relationship, the one greatest enemy of such relationship is UNCERTAINTY. Long distance relationships shatter because one cannot trust the other enough or vice versa. Like faith, the greatest challenge of such a relationship is having complete trust and confidence in someone we rarely see and rarely hold in our arms. If the love is true, this is very easy; but even with the sincerity of love, relationships like this always reach a point where one is uncertain of the other. Uncertainty is what causes the pain wrought by the absence of a loved one. The only way to cope with problem is through openness and acceptance. We have to be open to the possibilities and prepare ourselves for these possibilities. Although such can seem very assuming, there is no other way to go. We have to accept the fact that many things could happen and might happen and if and when something unfortunate happens, we have to learn to be steadfast in our love for the person that we are willing to consider the reasons why something unfortunate should happen. Honesty is a big plus in situations like these. We should be honest to one another and not hide anything to strengthen the bonds of such a relationship. It is best that whether what we do is good or bad, we are willing and ready to tell the truth and face the consequences because otherwise, suspicion and doubt will eat at the relationship and eventually cause its downfall.

Let us remember that it is not actually the presence of the person or the absence of the person that is vital in any relationship but the loved shared between parties. Do not forget that joy comes from knowing that we can love and are loved and that is more than enough to keep any relationship alive. If there are things we have to face in any relationship, long distance or not, love will always have the final say in things, and if we truly love, there is nothing in this world that can destroy that special bond that love has allowed us to have with a special, significant other. Bear in mind these final lines in the song “By Heart”: Until the stars fall from the skies, until the angels close my eyes, and even if we're worlds apart, I'd find my way back to you, by heart. Beautiful and true love always has its way around things, even around distance.

Good luck Audrae!

Be rational; be insane, every once in a while! TTFN!

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