Accents
'I want somebody else for President!'
Bluffton, South Carolina, USA - Did she hear a boo? Or was it a cheer? A smile or a sneer? Susan Boyd couldn't know as she drove away leaving it to the onlooker to react to her bumper sticker: I WANT SOMEBODY ELSE FOR PRESIDENT! As if Susan would care. Enough that she has imparted a piece of her mind. Sorry, Mr. President.
Madam Boyd is a typical academician, her professorial air apparent in her persistence to "teach adults teach adults" in our class in Pro-literacy America. Pro-literacy is about adult mentoring, to be dealt with in another column. For now, I stick to the sticker buffs and their variegated opinions firmly stuck at the back of their cars for all the world to see - even for just the drivers and riders following them to gobble in affirmation or snicker at in disgust.
One parked car at the St. Francis by the Sea church has this: I was once a Fetus. I am Against Abortion. Indeed, this is one faithful who abides by the stand of his/her religion. St. Francis by the Sea is a catholic church at the Hilton Head Island where we hear Mass. That sticker has sprung with the confrontations between the pro-life and pro-choice camps now going on in several States. (In a previous column, I have been loud on this issue, asserting that abortifacients are justified only when the life of the mother is in danger.)
Be it on the hundred or so cars parked on a Sunday morning at St. Francis, on the wide parking lots of supermarkets, or on those coursing in the streets, most common is the yellow ribbon sticker with the printed Support Our Troops. Resulting from the Iraq War, the yellow ribbon comes up with siblings like Pray for Our Troops, Bring Our Troops Home, Soldiers Come Home. The unpopularity of the war shows in other colors that hit hard the president with Impeach Bush! juxtaposed beside the patriotic GOD BLESS AMERICA. It is said proliferation of this sticker is due to the sickness plaguing many Americans: impeachmentitis. It is further said that there's no cure for this disease because the Republicans are in the majority in Congress. Sounds familiar, don't you think?
The political strain has affected my thirteen-year old grandson James Raphael. Asked about his favorite, his choice blends the hilarious with a swipe at Pres. "Dubya": Somewhere in Texas a village is missing its idiot. Grandson Rap-Rap followed it up with Fool me once, Shame on you. Fool me twice, Shame on me. Election fiasco in Florida in 2000 and the continuing debacle over Iraq reverberate through the lines. No wonder we see cars sporting boldly: DEMOCRATS WON! Too bad FPJ is gone. We could have used FPJ WON! in the homeland. (This is extraneous to the topic at hand; nevertheless, because columnists have to come forward with their opinion, may I say here that I voted for Roco.)
Politics aside, I go for the mother of all motherhood statements, Observe the GOLDEN RULE or its equally golden negative version: Do not do unto others what you do not want others do unto you. Or the exhortation: Today is the First Day of the Rest of Your Life. Make the Most of It. Proverbs or sayings from the wise also pop up in T-shirts and cars like this one from Mahatma Gandhi: An eye for an eye makes the world blind. I am partial to the environmentalist's picture of the globe bearing We're all in this together. Take care.
Subtle double entendres get a second glance like this imprint on a man's T-shirt: If I complimented your figure, will you hold it against me? More popular in T-shirts than in cars are oxymorons: I can resist everything except temptations. I will not tolerate intolerance. Say NO to negativism. I don't repeat gossip so listen closely. Whew-w-w. Enough already.
Stickers can be philosophical, deep or shallow, funny or plain dumb. If you were to write your own sticker, what would it be? Mine? I go all-out for Susan Boyd's: I WANT SOMEBODY ELSE FOR PRESIDENT! Sorry, Gloria.
(Comments to lagoc@hargray.com)