Rational Insanity
10 fun things to do on Valentines Day
I bet you all guessed it - I don't know how to spend my Valentines Day this year, simply because aside from the general reasons such as friends and family I have practically no other way to spend it. In other words, 'bingkong' ako. As you would expect, I would either try to fake that I have something to do this Valentines or ask somebody who has something to do this Valentines help me with my column. Well, I decided I would go with the second option, there is only one catch though -- the person I decided to invite to populate my column space this week is someone who has nothing to do this Valentines either, hence the result - 'QUIET' ways to spend Valentines day. Let's welcome, for this week's rambling, Mr. Marcel Milliam - an aspiring law student and a very good writer as well, catch him perform on February 27, 2007 at the UP Auditorium for the Bigkas Binalaybay 2007. Palakpakan ta si Marz!
10 fun things to do on Valentines Day
By Marcel L. Milliam
When Bry first asked me to write this week's column, my blood froze and for the first time I had nothing to say, even if it was to save my life. When I recovered from the initial shock, the most crazy things came to my mind. I told myself, well, maybe, that's just because, like Bryan, I too am bingkong this Valentines. Add to the fact that valentines would come after our midterm exams, I would most likely see myself cuddling in my divan with a good book that would be far from romantic, nor law related, just enjoying my mini break from law school. I realized however, that this would be unfair because there would be those who are coupled reading this weekly Bryan insanity. Therefore, 5 things would be for the lovers, and 5 for the lablabers. Roses are boring and dinner dates are overrated. Having sex is a given, and dating is unimaginative, not to forget, expensive. Here's my idea of what other things could be done on Valentines. Read on!
1. Visit the dentist together. Aside from the fact that you should do this at least twice a year, it would be veeeery romantic to have someone hold your hand while you grimace in pain as the dentist extracts your tooth; the one you neglected for the past millenium. I, for one, hate dentists and wouldn't want to go on a dental appointment willingly. Besides, since you would readily spend on a fancy dinner that you really don't need to, spending for your pearly whites would be a wise investment.
2. Prepare a meal together. Draw lots on who would do dessert, set the table, get wine, do the dishes later, and stuff like that. For the main course, plan to cook two entirely different dishes, but actually cook it up as one dish. Go figure! If this is too much for you, then just buy ready whip, or any whipped cream, a jar of maraschino cherries, and go crazy with frosting and "dessert-ing" each other! Did I not say that sex was a given?
3. Buy each other the cheapest, crappiest clothes and actually wear them. Go malling, and see how people would react to the both of you. Wouldn't that be sweet when people tell you, "Ay ho, ang duha ka buki! Bagay gid sila!"
4. Go to the Trappist monastery and discover if you would be successful in having a platonic relationship. Stick to the idea and see how far you could go with it.
5. Play best gal/best guy to each other. Just for that day, play your gf/bf's best gal/guy. Spill your dirtiest secret to each other. This is your chance to tell your significant other how many times you faked your orgasm, or tell your gf how many times, while having sex, you fantasized you were doing it with Brad Pitt, I mean Angelina Jolie.
Now, on to the more exciting things for the lone wolves.
6. Go to a jewelry store and try everything on display. Bring along your camera phone or digicam and ask the sales person to take a picture of you everytime you try on a new set. When you notice the sales person becoming pissed, leave the store, go to another jewelry store and repeat the process.
7. Approach complete strangers and act as if he/she was someone in your past, and demand for closure. Don't compromise! You MUST have that closure for you to be able to move on! (thanks to Mary Ann Darroca for this one. It rocks!)
8. Do the household chores. If you have a maid, give her the day off and do everything she does for that day. Be very helpful around the house; extra helpful. Who knows, you might piss your mom off and she will give you shopping money. If so, praise the heavens! He who doesn't love shopping is a goner!
9. Prepare your Christmas List. If you have the money, go shop for them. The early bird... is not late!
10. Sulk and be the biggest bitch to your well meaning friends. Be a pain in the ass, a big pain in the ass. Demand that they ditch their dates to listen to your whining. If they won't, swear to never want to talk to them, ever! Make them feel like it was their fault that since they have functional relationships, you live under their shadows! Bawl out, gnash your teeth and pull your hair; better yet, pull your friend's hairs. You have the right to be the bitch that you are on this day, right? After all, you have no one, right? If couples can show the world how partnered they are on this day, why can't you show how alone you are, right?
If you don't have the nerve to do these, then go get a divan, a good book and do as I do. If you dont have a divan, nor a good book, I have both. Give me a text, and maybe, we can go do #6 to #10 together. DARE ME!
All right, there you go folks!
As for me, your rationally insane week starter, be rational; be insane... every once in a while! TTFN!
Oh, and I would like to send out a well-meaned 'bravo' to the Souled Out band for their rendition of 'Get Here', last Friday at American Legacy (La Terraza). I loved that version and hope to hear it again when I'm back in Iloilo! Quite a voice you got there! Byers! I love you all! Mmmmmmmwah!