BLOGGER
Equality and staying on
While hanging out at Langford, a friend who’s very successful, beautiful, sexy and intelligent, asked, “Why do smart women fall for losers?” She was referring to men who let the women foot the bill during dates.
Silence.
Then she answered her own question. “Because smart women are dominant and they want to be in control. And the losers want women to take control of them and take care of them.”
Now, that makes sense.
That made me think that if we set aside Filipino norms on the roles of men and women, both are actually equal.
What if society starts embracing the new power of women?
Women can be breadwinners while the men stay at home to do the household chores especially in cases where it’s the woman who’s got a career and the guy only has a high school diploma and can’t find a decent job.
Women can start sending the man they like flowers and chocolates if they like them and especially if the man is so ‘torpe.’ A woman can also drop the men like hot potatoes if they’re tired of them and move to a new conquest.
Women can start carrying condoms in their wallets to protect themselves just in case they feel like fooling around.
Women can start wearing pinstripe suits to work and still look sexy. Women can head countries and corporations and men beneath them should not feel insecure about it.
When we start to truly embrace this idea of equality, we need not hear the talk about “falling for losers.” It will simply become “falling in love.”
* * *
You and I. We’re complicated. Not because we are hard to live with, but rather we were brought up differently and had different experiences. These shape who we are now and when these differences meet, they clash.
That’s the way with friends, too. We care about them, that’s why we often hang out with them. But there are times that they get on our nerves. Not because they’re bad but rather their actions disturb our sensibilities.
So, what would you do if a disturbed friend who’s dear to you accidentally embarrasses you in public for reasons beyond his or her control? Would you leave that person and save yourself? I don’t think so. It is at this moment that this friend needs our presence.
Someone close to me once (let’s call her Eden), confided that her sister always verbally abuses her and she would end up in tears. Then, the sister would say sorry afterwards. As it turns out, this sister had many rough years --- being a victim of a wife beater, an adulterer, a drunkard and a gambler. She became cynical and hard to live with. But amid her anger and insecurities is the struggle to become better and remorse for the harsh words she uttered. It is when Eden is caring for her that she becomes happy and less harsh.
That’s why there are times that we need to go past our own pride and hurts. For by showing loyalty, love and care can people feel special. And when they feel special because you stayed on, they become better.
And oh, don’t forget that tongue-lashing works, too. Stubborn loved ones need a lot of nagging. (grin)