Unusual Channel
By Ma. Renette B. Uy

Chicken soup for the beer drinkers

These gags are for beer drinkers out there or drinkers, whatever. This was sent to me through email by my friend who loves to drink. Who wouldn't like drinking? It's fun especially with friends. But of course, drink moderately. No getting drunk and no “ma-oy” please! I drink to be merry not to get drunk, for fellowship and friendship. However, once in a while it's nice to drink and have a serious discussion or a depression-session of some sorts just to unwind and get rid of body stress and clear the mind of any mental stress too. Beer is really okay but wine is perfect! Anyway, I enjoyed reading these gags and thought it would be fun sharing it this week with you guys. Have a beer, wine, vodka, tequila or whatever fun-day! CHEERS!!!

"Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel shamed. When I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver." ~ Jack Handy

"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day." ~ Frank Sinatra

" An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools." ~ Ernest Hemingway

"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."  ~ Henny Youngman

"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not." ~ Stephen Wright

"When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep.  When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. Sooooo, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!"  Brian O'Rourke

"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."  ~ Benjamin Franklin

"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer.  Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza, beer does!"   Dave Barry

BEER: HELPING UGLY PEOPLE HAVE SEX SINCE 3000 B.C.!!! ~ "Unknown"

"Remember "I" before "E", except in Budweiser."

And saving the best for last, as explained by Cliff Clavin , of Cheers (long running and popular sitcom in the States). This was one afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the Buffalo Theory to his buddy Norm. Here's how it went:

"Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest member.

In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the w eaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine.  That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."

" To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in a can!!"