Unusual Channel
By Ma. Renette B. Uy

With or without the virtue of

Patience is not my best quality. I would zealously ask for it in prayer to my Great Savior every time I need it. As I said, I pray when I badly need to be patient. So in the other times that I lack of it I easily lose my temper and I lose control of my tongue (deadliest weapon). In the times, I am patient, whatever faults or annoying actions done to me I simply just shut up. Take for instance, these days when the summer heat is actually bad you can die of a heatstroke, my patience is running thin and almost out of reserves, suddenly a brownout happens or worst a blackout! Geez, brownouts or blackouts nowadays is in vogue or should I say the in-thing or noooot!!! When lack of patience is almost intense, I would just grab the telephone and call whoever was responsible for it and words just come out from my mouth without fail with sarcasm and all. Who wouldn't be pissed? Imagine when it was the great blackout (12 hours!) that happened one Saturday evening, my husband and I were watching this great movie and it was during the highlight of the movie that suddenly darkness falls! It was the only time my husband and I have to sit down together for the day after making sure that the kids were asleep already and so we decided to watch a movie to relax. Actually, we were hoping it was only going to be about an hour (super agony na nga!) but no! It was twelve hours! I have a six-month old baby crying because it was super duper warm and my four-year old who keeps complaining of mosquito bites. For several hours, I was okay, meaning I was still able to hold on to whatever patience I had that time. I was quiet, not a sound from my end of the bed until I couldn't take it anymore. The heat got into my head and oh, boy I was really pissed. I was actually a time bomb waiting to explode. Who wouldn't! I went to the phone and became a number like all the rest who pretty much called them to lambaste and listen to their pathetic lies and standard responses when the last thing I wanted to hear was that! Anyway, I knew whatever I said (I am not about to tell you that now), when I made that call somehow made me feel better. I went to the bedroom lay down hoping even with the heat I could sleep…ZZZZZZzzzzzzz! Got the Zs alright but had to wake up and of course it was still blackout! Oh by the way, my TV and DVD player is out of order…conked out! Deado! Zapped! Goners but no takers! Thanks to a public utility that can't even be consistent to give a service I truly deserve. Oh well, same old, same old!

There was one time also when I went to the department store and I bought something. I went to the cashier and there was a not so long cue but there was a cue so I patiently waited for my turn until I saw the cashier and the checker talking and started giggling like two teenagers out on their first dates. O-oh, no way I am going to take all these, I said to myself… I just had to say something to them and I did! I was in a hurry and I am sure the rest of us are too. I am not justifying my actions but wouldn't you be pissed too?

I could go on telling you stories about losing my patience and how I dealt with it and perhaps, dig my grave for some reason or whatever, so, I am not going to take that road. I guess telling you one or two of my “not so patient patience” stories are enough to let you know I am just human and still go through these things like losing my temper, being nasty, being sarcastic, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera! I am still dealing with my inner being to perfect my being patient and all. Try and try until I die, as the cliché goes. Though I must tell you too that it's not quite the same anymore with all the above. I would like to say I changed a bit. Whenever I say my piece to people I just lost my patience, it would be brief and no dagger looks unlike before. People change and it's good. Can't be overnight change too. I take baby steps everyday. I choose my battles now. I know where and when I should open my mouth. My BLD community played an important role in all these changes and I will always be grateful to the people HE made instruments to make it all possible.

Patience is such a lonely word. Not everybody have it. In addition, for those who were born with it, you are rare specie. If I am not that patient yet, at least I never lost the HOPE (never leave your house without it) part that one day I will be more patient and from then on, without fail I will be. Stay patient for it is one of the greatest virtues.

Hope is like a road in the country; there wasn't ever a road, but when many people walk on it, the road comes into existence