Unusual Channel
By Ma. Renette B. Uy

Do you know what you want?

This weekend was quite an adventure for me. Not that I went to some place exotic (I wish I can) or some place interesting to boot but it was more of a dreamy type of adventure. It was more of a mental exercise and an emotional roller coaster with the group of friends I have, which includes my husband of course. Our night started with a sumptuous dinner at a place where distance does not even matter because when you get there the food is worth the travel. After dinner, we went to our friend's bar somewhere at Diversion Road. I had tea wanting to “burp” , after all that food we ate, I felt my stomach was going to burst. Anyway, we listened to good music, chitchat a lot about anything and laughed our hearts out sharing funny jokes from text messages. Of course, as usual, we were joined by one of the owners of the bar and we chitchat, laughed some more while listening to good music. Our mental exercise and emotional roller coaster started almost midnight. The question posed went something like this … “Does anybody know what they want?” Dreamy question, huh? Of course it is! There were five of us seated in that table that night and of course, every one had their turn to speak and say what they want. My gay friend said he wants his friends, family, and any one for that matter to love, respect and accept him for the way he is. To take him for what he is and what he has become not for what others see presumably in him. My husband said he wants to be somewhere in Europe with me and our children basking in the cool weather or sunny weather; it does not matter as long as he is not thinking of anything but just spending a real good time with us. Not thinking of any financial problem, but instead, having lots of money to spend and just have fun. He wants to be able to spend every minute playing with the kids and spend every second loving and caring for me without thinking of working to earn a living (like Bruce Wayne minus his heroic endeavors for Gotham City). He wants to wake up in a big house with a huge garden and just listen to the kids playing around the house, noise, ruckus and all. By the way, no brownouts for that matter, not part of the dream! “Time to wake up, honey”, I told him!” He just gave me his cute smile because he knows I totally agree with him. We have the same dream as always! It is free so sue me!

My girl friend said she wants to see every one around her, which is, of course, her family, to be happy because when they are happy, she is the happiest! Kind of dreamy for her I know for sure because she is the heroin if this is one of those teleseryes . She is the ever-reliable daughter, sister, aunt and sister-in-law. She also wants a family of her own, kids and all. However, with her situation at the moment, she feels it may take a while to get to the “having a family part.” It remains a dream to her but it is something she wants, definitely!

My turn this time to say what I wanted. I said to everybody, “ I want peace of mind .” No raised eyebrows please! I know, I know, it is such a cliché and it is such an impossible dream. Like I said this was something dreamy, right? Who gets peace of mind in an instant in the first place? Oh well I can dream, can't I? I was asked to change what I want because everybody feels it is so profound in nature. They wanted something more likely to happen. Yeah right, like what my husband said he wanted to have, as if it's gonna happen in an instant not unless we win the lottery, guess not even in a million years! Anyway, to give in to what my friends [ some friends, huh! (:) ] asked me to say this time as what I want, I said to them…” I guess, I want every one I care for and love to feel the same way about me and, that includes my husband (no doubt about it, just making sure, hehehe), my children, my friends and most especially my family”. That was not so hard and it was not really that dreamy, Oh well, I thought so! They had to pick my brains on this one. And, I kinda said, no brainer, sure! I know how it feels to be loved by my husband with all the sacrifices he made just for me, no doubt about it! My children? They are young but with their expression of affection to me is enough to make my day worth surviving. My friends? Geez, I know how it feels to be loved and betrayed by them too so I guess it is an equal balance of nature. I don't wanna go to the betrayal part, I went through that several articles back so I just wanna deal with how I know some of my friends if not all love me too. My family? This one is kinda hard. I have always been criticized for being such a stubborn person by my family. Oh well, non-conformist is more my definition of what they say my being stubborn. In my younger days, I was more of a rebel, with a cause I hope, than an obedient child. It was not out of defiant but it was out of being just highly opinionated person. I believed so much in so many things happening all at the same time at that time. Oh well, I am still highly opinionated but I would like to think it is more in a mature way now. Time kinda tamed me a lot and lessons from bad experiences have taught me a lot too. Nevertheless, I guess, it left a bad taste in their mouths and so I am still the stubborn person they think I am. Oh well, cannot please everybody. Like what I always say, “You just have to get to know me, to say or not to say if I am all of the above”!

Last but not the least; it is my good friend's turn to say what he wanted in life. By the way, he has also been my writing inspiration for the past weeks. I have been dying to mention his name just to thank him for being such an inspiration but I thought otherwise because he might get famous or something, hehehe, joke lang! I will, maybe one of these days I will. Anyway, when it was his turn to say what he wanted, he simply said, “like everyone else, I also want a family, I don't wanna be alone!” Oh well, both my lady-friend and male friend are single. Guess, when you are, it is something you really want. Though it may not be something in the near future, but it is there as part of the “big plan” someday, somehow, one should just know what one really wants to make it happen I believe. Hey, that would be a good topic the next time …”why single people want to be settled when they can enjoy first and worry about it later?” Just know what you want and whom you want for that matter. Oh well, I have no regrets being married, I believe I have enjoyed my being single once and I had my fill of fun then. I knew what I wanted when I decided to be married five years ago and I still know what I want in reality not the dream part. Moreover, I like the stability of being married.

There you go my little adventure over the weekend. The day after that, my husband and our four-year old son celebrated Father's Day a day shy to beat the rush of the Sunday celebration. I had a fun-filled weekend with my friends and most especially, it was a great feeling to be with my husband and my kid who loves me. At least, that part of my dream is true! HAPPY FATHER'S DAY TO EVERYONE!

Some people have a wonderful capacity to appreciate again and again, freshly and naively, the basic goods of life, with awe, pleasure, wonder, and even ecstasy!