Unusual Channel
By Ma. Renette B. Uy

The law according to Tom, Dick and Harry

Do you know anything about Murphy's Law? For those who know, good for you! For those who does not know, Murphy's Law goes something like this … “if you think that something is unlikely to happen, it usually does happen”. So, be careful what you wish for, it might come true or it might happen.

Here are some other laws that you will find funny at the same time it is practical in some sense. I do not know these people from Tom, Dick and Harry but somehow they kinda cooked up their own laws and you might learn from it or if not roll with laughter then. Like what I always say, “The best way to start your morning is with a smile or laughter, a cup of good coffee and a copy of The News Today to start your day right.”

The laws according to these people:

LORENZ'S LAW OF MECHANICAL REPAIR: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.

ANTHONY'S LAW OF THE WORKSHOP: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

KOVAC'S CONUNDRUM: When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged one.

CANNON'S KARMIC LAW: If you tell the boss, you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.

O'BRIEN'S VARIATION LAW: If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.

BELL'S THEOREM: When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.

RUBY'S PRINCIPLE OF CLOSE ENCOUNTERS: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

WILLOUGHBY'S LAW: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

ZADRA'S LAW OF BIOMECHANICS: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

BREDA'S RULE: At any event, the people whose seats are farthest from the aisle arrived last.

OWEN'S LAW: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something that will last until the coffee is cold.

***

I just would like to say something about the seemingly unending brownouts these days… whoever is responsible for it, I hope you realize that businesses are suffering and there will come a time no investors will be interested to invest their good money here in our city. They might as well take their money somewhere else where there are no brownouts or blackouts!

***

I take my hats off to those who sing their lungs out in karaoke bars these days for the entire neighborhood to hear. Of course, it comes out noisy because some karaoke bars these days are wide open. I mean, just imagine a carinderia during the day and a karaoke bar during the night. Literally, it is open to the public, not enclosed for that matter. They play their music so loud it will wake up the dead at the nearest cemetery. Do they have license for this kind of business? I guess the city government has to make the rounds of all the districts or even barangays just to find out it is really happening. However, if they do have a license for this kind of business (open-air karaoke bars) , there should be some rules or guidelines to follow so that they don't become public nuisances or public disturbance to put it bluntly! One thing is for sure, I do not want to wake up the next day experiencing the “last song syndrome” just because before I close my eyes, some Tom Dick or Harry is singing the “Impossible Dream or My Way song”. (No offense to those who like the song)

***

I just watched the movie, “King Arthur” again starring Clive Owen this time. I love period movies especially this one. I must have seen about four or five versions of this story, I mean King Arthur and his Knights of the round table. I have seen the one of Sean Connery, Richard Gere and Julia Ormond. The old Camelot movie whose stars I don't even remember because they were the actors of old. I have seen Excalibur, Merlin that starred Sam Neil that was shown at the Hallmark Channel, and another one with almost the same story, I just can't seem to remember the title and the actors in it so it must have been one of those “B” movies depicting the life of King Arthur. The love triangle part of the story between King Arthur, Gwenevere (not sure of the spelling of her name) , and Sir Lancelot were always part of the movie except for this new “King Arthur” movie. So sorry for those who have not seen it cause I am going to be a bummer about it by saying that, there was no love triangle in this movie except for the lusty look on Sir Lancelot's face every time he sees Gwenevere (guess he knew where he stood then). Of course, King Arthur was the lucky guy for unlike in the other Arthur movies, Gwenevere was the one who went to his room and need I say more? Anyway, King Arthur only had six Knights with him including Sirs Lancelot, Tristan, Gawain and Galahad (the other two, I could not really make out their names or hear, for crying out loud!) Oh well, they were fighting for fifteen years in that movie and so their numbers must have been more than six then, the rest, rested in peace. To go on, what was different also is that Sir Lancelot got killed in the battle between the Knights and the Saxons and he was defending Gwenevere when it happened; Gwenevere was a warrior that has Merlin the Magician as the leader that she even wore war paint on her face during the battle; and, in the end, King Arthur won over the Saxons, and of course, he got the girl, Gwenevere I mean. They were married by Merlin at the famous Stone Henge. I could not complain despite all the differences in the story. For one, I like Clive Owen, he is so sexy with his accent and all. Again, I like these kinds of movies so it was really a treat again watching it. A “must see” movie.

“Each day, and the living of it, has to be a conscious creation in which discipline and order are relieved with some play and pure foolishness”