'Battered husband' wins case vs wife
By Florence F. Hibionada
Correspondent
For better or worse? Not quite, an Ilonggo seaman knows now following last week's decision of the Iloilo Provincial Prosecutor's Office upholding his right to stay away from his wife.
The reason? The Prosecutor agreed that he has had enough of the reported physical and emotional abuse long suffered in the hands of his ex-love including an alleged incident where he was drugged.
A native of Pototan, Iloilo, the 24 year-old seaman narrated his ordeal in a marriage unlike any other of his friends. His wife, he told The News Today, was his textmate and seemed then 'heaven-sent' reason why he went ahead to marry her April of 2003. Yet the months that ensued proved disastrous, he continued, with her demanding his full salary from his work as a seafarer.
"But I cannot do that because I have my elderly parents to take care of and my nephew who is a special child with special needs. I told her she can get half of my earnings even if I won't have anything left for myself," he said in local dialect.
"She did not like that. Worse, when I ended my first contract, I discovered she did not even take time to visit my parents - not even once, she also owed people a lot of money and we have no savings at all. Life at sea is very unstable and dangerous. All I wanted was for her to ensure our future."
As the relationship turned sour, the 24 year-old seafarer got the shock of his life when told by his shipping company of a pending complaint filed by his wife reason why he cannot be given a new contract. Such had him jobless for months now.
"I kept to myself the many instances she would physically hurt me and threaten to kill me. In other times, it was even witnessed by our friends. I can not hurt her back so I would just stay away and wait for her to cool off. In the months I was at sea, I would get hurtful letters from her and if not for my concern to my parents and my nephew, I would have given up. I would have killed myself," he added.
Then came the complaint for violation of RA 9262, a new law against violence against women that had him stand as respondent. In the prelimary investigation, the beleaguered seaman faced off with his wife and told his side of the story including the purported abuses she would inflict on him.
In a three-page resolution, Assistant Provincial Prosecutor Elena Hofileña-Gerochi ruled in his favor and recommended that the complaint as lodged against him be dismissed. He may also stay away from her.
"Under the Constitution, a person has the right to choose where to live," the resolution as eventually approved by 1st Assistant Provincial Prosecutor and Officer-in-Charge Bernabe Dusaban stated.
This, as the Resolution took note of the seaman's defense and denial of the charges.
"Respondent (referring to the seaman) contended that she (wife) wanted to get all his earnings however he wanted to giev some to his parents who were raising the children of his deceased brother as well as to leave some for his training expenses when he gets back to the Philippines. He further declared that private complainant berated him and said scandalous things to him that he considered were improper for a lady to say to her husband. She told him things like wishing him dead which respondent took hard especially when one had to endure the long hours of work on board a ship. Respondent also declared that it was private complainant who said bad things to him and that she did not show respect to his parents who were already old. Later, he was told by private complainant's boardmate that private complainant drugged him so that he would spend the night in private complainant's boarding house. Respondent added that he later discovered also that his wife owed a recruitment agency some money contraty to what she told him that she had already paid the recruitment agency. Respondent declared that it was because of all the bad things that his wife did to to him and the improper things that she did that deeply hurt him and that is why he did not want to live with her," excerpts of the Resolution stated.
Will he reconsider and give it another chance then for love to be lovelier the second time around?
"No. This is like a bad dream for me and my family. I just want to stay away from her and continue with my life," he concluded.
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