Serendipity
By Joanne Marie Combong–Pijuan 

Girlfriend, “He's Just Not That Into You” 

Admit it. All of us women, at one point in our otherwise fab life have spent a sleepless night or two mulling, OK, obsessing, about the puzzling behavior of men. And I'm not talking about just any man, but men we really like or those who make us want to shout -- "Oh my God, I think I just met someone!" like a desperate banshee who just won the lotto.

Before I move on, I'd just like to clear that I won't be lynching any guys in this article. I already did that for the whole month of June, remember? This write up is actually my way of spreading the “good (but awful and painful) news” that could actually save women from drowning in their own tears; further jacking up their cell phone bills despite the P10 + P5 promo; caffeine and carbon monoxide overdose from daily, nocturnal lattes with girlfriends in sidewalk/al fresco cafes; and lifetime therapy. So, don't shoot the messenger girls, I'm here to spare you from a whole lot of pain.

It takes a lot to make me burn with envy. But when Sex and The City scriptwriter Liz Tuccillo and stand-up comedian and Sex and the City consultant Greg Behrendt started the “He's Just Not That Into You” revolution about a year ago, I went a deep shade of green. Indeed, some ideas are worth millions, and these two have actually turned a line into a universal axiom that has earned the nod of women (even of men, and I might say everyone else who at one point have made all sorts of creative and comical excuses for dead-end relationships) all over the world.

In their book, “He 's Just Not That Into You, The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys” , Tuccillo and Behrendt lays out the ultimate 21 st century dating philosophy that's actually all about common sense: Men are not that complicated. There are no mixed messages or hidden meanings behind their mind-boggling actions. There's no use analyzing why he didn't call, why he didn't ask you out again after one seemingly “successful” date, or why he didn't want to come up your place for late night coffee.

Because, the truth may be that, girlfriend, he's just not that into you .

Or, he might just have a bad case of diarrhea and had to find a bathroom – fast (as the case may be in that Miranda episode in Sex and the City that actually launched the “He's just not that into you” phenomenon). Yes, you could probably blame it on diarrhea if he had an extra spicy helping of Indian food for dinner or he's got IBS (or irritable bowel syndrome). Otherwise, he's just not that into you.

So, forget the usual excuses like: He just went through a bad break up; he doesn't want to get hurt again; he doesn't want to ruin the friendship; he's the office messenger and you're the boss so he's intimidated by you and therefore cannot make his move; or he's got gout so he can't pick up the phone (by far this is the lamest excuse). I am not an expert on men, but all I know is that a man is a man, is a man. If he wants you, he will come and get you. No excuses.

Greg Behrendt also couldn't have phrased it better when he said, “Men aren't afraid of commitment - they're just afraid to commit to someone who isn't right for them.” And so, stop analyzing and rationalizing. The guy clearly isn't the one for you. It's not because there is something wrong with you. But once again, it's simply because he's just not that into you. Sadly, sparks didn't fly for him as it did for you – but who cares? These things do ‘appen!

Let me end by giving you an excerpt from this much-talked about book. Ladies, the truth might hurt, but eventually, it will set you free, and, to put it bluntly, spare you from making a total ass of yourself.

“Men, for the most part, like to pursue women. We like not knowing if we can catch you. We feel rewarded when we do. Especially when the chase is a long one. We know there was a sexual revolution. (We loved it.) We know women are capable of running governments, heading multinational corporations, and raising loving children — sometimes all at the same time. That, however, doesn't make men different.

Imagine right now that I'm leaping up and down and shaking my fist at the sky. I'm on my knees pleading with you. I'm saying this in a loud voice: "Please, if you can trust one thing I say in this book, let it be this: When it comes to men, deal with us as we are, not how you'd like us to be." I know it's an infuriating concept — that men like to chase and you have to let us chase you. I know. It's insulting. It's frustrating. It's unfortunately the truth. My belief is that if you have to be the aggressor, if you have to pursue, if you have to do the asking out, nine times out of ten, he's just not that into you. (And we want you to believe you're one of the nine, ladies!) I can't say it loud enough: You, the superfox reading this book, are worth asking out.”