Rational Insanity
By Bryan Mari J. Argos

Gloria gay-sha!

I hate jumping into the bandwagon, so if you will notice, while the political storm brewed to the hilt about a month ago, I never wrote anything about it. Now, that the fizz is almost gone, I would like to take a blow at the issue, but let's strip off the seriousness from the issue and get some humor into it.

Did you ever notice how the “Hello Garci” ring tone became an instant hit, or how many gay stand-up comedians impersonate Gloria nowadays? Let's face it, GMA is inevitably becoming a gay icon. Of course, not along the calibers of Gloria Gaynor, Cher, and Irene Cara, but hey, she is a force to reckon with in the gay community! Now, to add to all this pizzazz, Forbes Magazine recently declared here as the 4th most powerful woman in the world! Kaya mo yan sister?

Anyway, the reason why GMA is a hit with gays and the fun-loving sectors of society is because she represents what most people think the government is coming to. She is the icon of a government that is so in disarray that all it deserves is to be scoffed at and laughed at. Is this good? I don't think so. If the president is becoming a novelty for our young people, the alternative crowd, and ring tone addicts, then it simply means that the government is becoming a novelty as well. I can still remember the “Tamagotchi” of the 90's, whether we like it or not, the Philippine government is like a huge “Tamagotchi”, it only gets noticed when it screams its lungs out that it has goofed up. When has the government been a subject of international attention when it has done something significant and praiseworthy? Never. Of course, we are featured in Time magazine, or in Newsweek, or some other glossy international magazine, but only because of our political conflicts and loud political bickering. “Only in the Philippines,” so we would dismissively justify. Why only in the Philippines? Well, simply because in comparison to our Asian neighbors, we are so preoccupied with the things that don't really matter. We forget that there are much greater things to take care of than just the irritating mole of GMA on her right (left?) upper lip or the fancy gown she wore at her latest state of the nation address. This is what we are coming to; and who is to blame?

For once in our lives, let us stop blaming the government for our misery. We put them there in the first place. Sagad naton baligya ang boto ta mag-eleksyon pagkatapos kun mamigado na gani, hala man dayun reklamo. Dawsa bata bala nga, hoy, Mayor, diin na ang baylo sang boto ko nga ginhatag ko sa imo? Hoy, hanggag! Gin-baydan ka na dos syentos! Gani, sagad dira reklamo!” Pathetic – I am saying this because the political masa are the most susceptible to the underhand strategies of the politicians and when time comes they are also the first to complain. So, you are poor, so what? If you can't hold on to your dignity every time there is an election by selling out your vote, then you are in no position to complain. Now, if these people would reason out that they need the money to feed their families, why not work instead of selling out your future for a day's meal? Pahapus mo! When hunger and poverty strikes, these people wished they never sold their votes, why did they not think of that when they sold their vote last elections?

So, look, here we are now – a country broken by internal conflict and sensationalized politicking. Even the media (an entity that is supposed to be objective) is blatantly becoming biased. Everybody is lusting for power; we have an administration that is so tattered that it is perfect material for the Sunday fun page, and an opposition that has began to become so pessimistic that they have dedicated their lives to faux discretion more like the cheap blind items you find in tabloids. The only thing that is lacking now is a heavily made-up blabber mouth gay reporter yapping away details like in a Sunday afternoon gossip program. Beat that! Here we are again, “only in the Philippines”, haaaay…

As a people, we have to remind ourselves that our glorious past is no laughing matter. We are here as a result of centuries of bloodshed and lives lost to dignity, funny the stupid moviegoer does not seem to realize that every time the national anthem is played during the last full show. Now, if we continue to degrade ourselves by succumbing to the gargantuan political battles going on now and assimilating the conflict into our very lives, then, it's bail out time. We are brewing ourselves a recipe for disaster. In no time at all, there will be no Philippines – you and I will cease to exist, because we won't have enough proof to show that we don't deserve to be laughed at. We will be reduced to a useless, insignificant, pap of tissue paper. No one will respect us or believe us or trust us anymore. Sure, we will be popular, but only in areas where slapstick comedy is a commodity; my suggestion? If we really want our nation to regain its former luster and glory, we as a people, should join hands and openly reject political attempts to use us as pawns in this undignified political battle. Stand on your own; you are a Filipino who does not deserve to be made part in any of the games that politicians play. If there is anyone here who's hands are butt-dirty, then it's the politicians – allowing ourselves to be used by them is like licking the finger of someone who just stuck that finger into his crack, uuurgh! Hold your ground, do not take any sides, stand for your history, stand for your individual uniqueness, stand for the Filipino that you truly are, and not the Filipino wannabe who claims sobriety but cannot even determine the difference between a gay impersonator and his/her own mother! For now, laugh, and when the political storm has wavered and gained ground again in May 2007, show these bastards who's the BOSS! Nababading na ang Pinas! Haaaaaay!

Be rational; be insane, every once in a while! TTFN! Hello to my dearest readers, to Hellpen, Anne, Mary Dale, Chan, Michelle, Zarthus, Jonald, Mr. Bobot, Vic, Vincent, and Rex, Alex, Arvin, Corz, Jim, Kiara, Malikh, Audrae, Franz, Hendrick, Janice, Jay, Jim, Jonathan, Mark, Marz, Mel, Pres, Nhonoy, Niel, Piper, Rheavil, Joey, Alma, Rodolfo, Ecker, Ryan, Roni, Ian, Narle, Sunny and to Anuj of CMC, I love you all! Byers! Salamat gid sa mga walang-hintong text and reactions nyo! Catch Rational Insanity in TNT's online edition, check us out at www.thenewstoday.info, text me at (0920)9254269, or email me at prague@eudoramail.com . Byers! Mmmmmmmwah!