Unusual Channel
By Ma. Renette B. Uy

On accidental writing

“A woman is like a tea bag: you never know how strong she is until she gets in hot water”. It is said that women are stronger than men or perhaps, it may appear to be so but who is really stronger? Women in general, are very emotional or shall I say reveal so much emotion or of themselves compared to men. More demonstrative of their feelings of love, joy, even of hatred. Compared to men we are made that way that in the end, after a really bad heartbreak women come out better persons and as if nothing happened. We pick up the pieces and we move on. I guess, we cannot exactly say that women are stronger on that basis alone. Actually, if that is the basis, I would say men are stronger too. You know why? Their hearts get broken too I am sure of it but the difference is, men do not show it or we women think they don't care at all; and it is not because it is a macho thing for them or it's some ego as big as Kingkong that's why we don't see it or they don't show it at all. It is because they were made that way. They get hurt too, they get emotional too, I am sure they cry like babies too, however, they do it differently. Otherwise, men and women will just be the same “specie” so to speak, so therefore, this book entitled, men are from Mars and women are from Venus would not have existed at all! Anyway, just something to ponder about… they say that those who appear to be strong in heart are those who are really weak and most susceptible. Hmmm… what say you?

Was there a time you felt you needed protection that having someone physically stronger and powerful made you feel so secure and losing them for one sec sends you to the insecurity corner? Or did you experience being someone else's protector ? I remember I used to have this friend when I was in high school and this was a long time ago. Let's name her Cara. Cara would not do anything in particular until I am around. At school, she would just sit in a corner waiting for me to arrive. The moment she sees me, her face lights up and she would start talking about anything. Like a child, she would cling to my arm, and we would walk together to attend our Science class. However, we were seated apart from each other because the first letter of my last name is B and she was somewhere between L & R and that is when her insecurity sets in because I was several seats away from her. Cara would suddenly be very quiet and she would just say something when asked. She would be very fidgety and would play with her fingers trying to count the minutes with it. The moment Cara realizes that the Science class is almost over, her face lights up again because she knows we would be together even for a while before the next subject starts again. I would stand up from my chair and go to her and she would hold my hand and start talking again. I figured she is just comfortable with me hence her actuations. It was later on that I realized I was her security blanket. I would actually protect her from other girls who tried to bully her. When it was our last year in high school, she was about the only one who was not happy to graduate. Cara felt she was going to lose me forever the moment we graduate. I was her only friend in school and when she was told by her parents that she will be studying abroad for college, it really broke her heart. I never heard from Cara right after our high school graduation. I knew already that she was leaving the country to study abroad but I did not even get the chance to see her before she left. I know that in all our high school years together, I was her protector and champion. It was later on that I realized I myself needed protection from this cruel world with cruel creatures living in it. It was then that I realized too that the years I spent protecting someone, it was the time also that I needed protection. Perhaps, we were both that way to each other. We found comfort and we were secure with each other. Cara was a beautiful learning experience and wherever she is right now, I just hope that all my good wishes for her when we were together somehow came true for her.

Did you know that the three most difficult things to say are, I love you, sorry and help me? Go figure! Just kidding! Honestly, I thought before, that saying I love you is exclusively for the opposite sex. I never really said I love you to my parents and my siblings. Of course, it was a given thing that I love my family but it was not expressed in words. That is why the first time I said I love you to members of my family, I felt kind of weird. It's okay now, I am able to say it naturally. The sorry word… not unless one means it, it is really difficult. I try so much to say sorry every time I offended someone and mean it and hope not to do the hurtful thing again. However, I don't usually say it that often unless I know I mean it. Sometimes pride gets in the way also, that makes it more difficult. There are people though who say it like its five cents a piece but not to judge them or something, I guess different strokes for different folks. Did you know that when you help someone, the help is returned in two folds? However, when we cry for help it's totally a different thing. It takes a lot of humility to cry for help especially when we are used to helping someone. Nothing wrong with asking for help and there is nothing to be ashamed of. You'll be surprised at the amount of help you'll get if only you ask for it.

Is red your favorite color? Well, if it is, I have good news for you! People who wear red or like the color red are more confident of themselves. I read before in one of the woman magazines that when you go to a job interview and you wear red, the chance of you getting hired is very high. Maybe? Maybe not! It's still up to you, I believe. Oh well, I wouldn't discount the fact that when one goes to a job interview, she or he is prepared to be asked sorts of questions relevant to the job position. Moreover that, wearing something red is just some sort of an added boost to the already existing credentials. However, here's my own two cents worth for whatever purpose it may serve you later on… red is a very strong color. An intense, lively color, daring, noticeable and it has a kind of compelling impact on other people. Why do you think you kind of take a second look every time you see someone wearing red? A woman in red is a fashion statement in itself! A man wearing a red shirt brings out his color, tan or not. Go ahead, be daring! Be bold! Wear that red dress, red shirt, red scarf, or even a red lipstick! Red hair, anyone?

Still on with colors… did you know that those who dress in yellow are those that enjoy their beauty? Interesting, huh? And that those who dress in black are those who want to be unnoticed and need your help and understanding? The thing about wearing black and wanting to be unnoticed is something I guess not true for everybody. Nowadays, I like wearing black especially so because it hides my already chubby side after having children. However, years ago, when I was on the lean side before, I liked wearing black too. I used to have “a little black dress” in my closet. Every girl should have one though. Believe you me, I didn't go unnoticed!

Did you know that it's easier to say what you feel in writing than saying it to someone in the face? But did you know that it has more value when you say it to their face? True, true but hard, hard…! I used to be really confrontational. I say it with “ words” so to speak. Nowadays, I try so hard to control myself, tame myself not to say something really nasty. I guess I am more considerate of what other people will feel. Of course, being human and all I still am not able to control myself sometimes. By the way, my writing for this paper is a result of my not being able to control myself a year ago. I couldn't confront this person who gave my husband and brother-in-law a hard time just to get a barangay clearance for work so I wrote about it and got it published. That's how I started to be an accidental writer. Thanks to Marichel, of course it's been a year now! How time flies and yes, I am having fun writing for this paper (sipsip ba?) notwithstanding some people who say that TNT's readership is not so great. Hah! Now I write… whoever said that or think that, they are just shooting from their mouths. Nothing beats the facts, baby! And the fact sheet says… modesty aside, we are up there! Hah! See, I can write about it, I don't have to say it right in their faces ‘cause that would really hurt! Ouch!!! Anyway, my being confrontational stopped years ago. I would like to think that I kind of mellowed already. People change, though I still get upset about things and get the chance to write about it and I would like to keep it that way. If by doing so, I have offended some people, not intended.

Did you know that if you ask for something in faith, your wishes are granted or when you pray fervently and sincerely ask for forgiveness, your prayers will be answered? There was this dialogue from a local teleserye that went something like this; Juan asked: “I would like to learn how to pray and I would like my prayer to be answered.” “What must I do so that my prayers will be answered by God?” “What is the secret formula?” Pedro answered: “There is no secret formula.” “All you have to do is sincerely ask for forgiveness and thank the Lord for His blessings.” “Then He will grant your prayers.” Juan said: “That is easy, I will do that!” Is it really easy? I believe it is if we are truly sorry for our sins, if we truly are thankful for His blessings and if we believe it is possible! What makes it possible? FAITH! But don't just believe me, try it. You will be surprised by what you can do.

“There may be more to learn from climbing the same mountain a hundred times than by climbing a hundred different mountains.”