Rational Insanity
What to do on a valentine-less valentine's day
Valentine's Day is just a day away and surely, restaurants will be filled with couples, bars will be filled with more couples, malls and parks will be filled with even more couples. That is just putting it lightly - motels too, inns, and hotels will be filled with couples, regardless of their gender and sexual orientation. It could be a bit depressing if you are out there among those hundreds of couples when you are all alone and hoping to be one among the many couples that you see, but then again, why feel bad? Out of the many reasons for someone to be alone of Valentine's day, I believe there is only one that could really be considered valid - because you chose to be alone. All the other reasons are just corollary to ones choice of being alone on Valentine's Day. For instance, if you think the reason for your being alone is that you are not physically attractive, why remain physically unattractive in the first place when there are a thousand and one ways to improve your appearance, much less, your personality? Simple - because you chose not to make yourself attractive because you do not want to attract someone you may consider as the better half of the couple that includes yourself. You might say that you have tried everything to find that special someone out there. Darling, trying to find someone is merely an outward manifestation of your desire NOT to find someone, because if you know for a fact that you should not look for love, but just wait for it, why are you looking for it to begin with? Anyway, that really isn't our topic for this week. I would like to dedicate this week's column to people who are alone on the day of hearts and who feel really bad about it.
What to do, what to do, hmmmmmm? I am no oracle but I sure know that people who feel bad on the day of hearts are people who are bitter, so, don't feel bad unless you want the word 'SORRY' stamped on your forehead. Get out there and have fun! Have a date with yourself and you will realize how wonderful the day can turn out to be. You want those stuffed hearts and cuddly bears? Buy yourself one, who's stopping you? Chocolates? Pig out on stuff like Ferrero Rocher and those fancy candies in tin cans - make sure that you have someone beside you at the shelf picking out the cheapest chocolate bar for his/her girlfriend or boyfriend, then, let's see who between the two of you turns green with envy. If this doesn't do it for you, go to a restaurant that serves plated dinners for two people, the kind that has a specific price tag for every plate; then ask for the menu instead of going for the plated dinner. Pick out the most boisterous item, such as a flaming flambé or some aromatic sizzling steak. Then order a bottle of red wine. Surely, when your order comes in, all the couples in the same place will either have all their eyes or their noses on you - you might even get some of them fighting over the lousy belief that 'they should only have eyes for each other'.
Now, if these still do not do it for you, go to the mall. Wear your most revealing outfit - something that will get more skin into open air (To hell if you are fat or out of shape! Just feel good in your outfit). Walk around like you are looking for someone paying particular seductive attention to couples who pass you by. You may not see the results right away, but most of the time; these couples give each other the cold shoulder after noticing that their partner noticed someone else aside from themselves (and on Valentine's Day!). When you have began to feel tired walking around, showing skin, and making tied males/females regret that they tied themselves up to a nagging/ overprotective/ possessive/ unreasonable/ senseless/ bimbo/ insensitive/ spoiled/ conceited/ lying/ unadventurous/ frigid/ un-creative/ stupid/ halitotic/ smelly partner then its time for you to find the coffee shop with the most couples in it. Go, sit there, and reward yourself with a hot cup of coffee or whatever you fancy, it does not end here though. While sipping your coffee, be particularly restless - cross your legs as much as you want, exchanging one leg for another every now and then, look around seductively at all the couples while noisily stirring your coffee, light a cigarette, then puff your smoke in all directions, when you're done, leave the coffee shop and go to the nearest spa (if you don't have enough money, just get in there and just inquire about their eternal list of services, just so you give the other couples the idea that you had other plans). The result of this - those couples in the coffee shop will forget about their love lives and each other and begin talking about how irritating you were. Give yourself a hearty smile and a laugh of congratulations - you made your day and made them forget theirs! Bwahahahahahahahahaha!
When the day is done, give yourself a hot bath and tell yourself how much you love it in front of a mirror. Have a cup of tea in bed while reading a good book or watching a movie (stay away from the tear jerkers), after all, the best partner you can have in this world is yourself. Before you sleep, tell yourself 'Next year, on this very same day, if there is no one who can love me more than I love myself, then it will be another wonderful Valentine's Day with my beloved Me!'
Be rational; be insane...every once in a while!!!TTFN! Hello to a new friend, to Am-Am, Welcome to RI, and to my dearest readers, to Dot, Verona, James, Sheen, Hellpen, Anne, Mary Dale, Chan, Michelle, Zarthus, Jonald, Mr. Bobot, Vic, Vincent, and Rex, Alex, Arvin, Corz, Jim, Kiara, Malikh, Audrae, Franz, Hendrick, Janice, Jay, Jim, Jonathan, Mark, Marz, Mel, Pres, Nhonoy, Niel, Piper, Rheavil, Joey, Alma, Rodolfo, Ecker, Ryan, Roni, Ian, Narle, Sunny and to Anuj of CMC, I love you all! Byers! Salamat gid sa mga walang-hintong text and reactions nyo! Catch Rational Insanity in TNT's online edition, check us out at www.thenewstoday.info, text me at (0920)9254269, or email me at prague@eudoramail.com. Byers! Mmmmmmmwah!