Serendipity
Good luck, graduates! (Part 2)
(The following is one of the articles included in the book, "The Best of Youngblood" published by Anvil Publishing, Inc. and Philippine Daily Inquirer, 1988).
(continued from last Friday)
I am still young. I still have so much to do, to see, to dream about, to wish for. And yet when I wake up in the morning, and I am alone, I do, I see, I dream, I wish and I feel - nothing. Questions usually crop up during moments when I don't have the answers: Why did I ever go to college anyway? Was studying in the best university in the country - as an iskolar ng bayan, yet - worth it? Was wasting my parents' money and leaving my simple home for the atrocities of the city worth it? Why is it that I cannot seem to find my place in the sun? What will I be when I'm 50, and will I like myself then? What is there in this life but fancy cars, a huge house in a posh village, a fat bank account, a monogamous husband, beautiful kids and trips to Europe? Who wouldn't be happy when they have all these? And, yes, when will I find a job that I like, where I can flourish, be contented and respected, while making a huge stash of cash?
These are the questions a bum confronts everyday. These are the questions I and thousands of other young men and women ask. Young men and women who studied in very good schools, with above average intelligence, pleasing personalities, humor, wit, and very supportive families, and yet forced to remain at home, clutching the TV remote control like a lifeline.
Is it our fault that we have become too idealistic for our own good? Is it our fault that we cannot find a job worthy of us - and the hundreds of isaw, frat wars, endless registration hassles we had to go through for four years? Is it our fault that we have made some wrong choices and decisions which gave us nothing but pain and frustration? Is it our fault that we are what we are now? Or can we blame the system, or the government, which cannot even provide for its people, especially the young who have so much to give?
I don't know. The junk food I've been eating while chewing on the latest showbiz chika must have dulled my brain. Maybe I and the rest of us bums deserve to be living in this brutish, jobless nothingness. Maybe, we young people are just plain lazy, contented with the fact that our parents provide for us even after college. Western society would cringe at our dependence. Maybe parents should begin kicking their kids out on the day they turn 18. Who knows, the country's economy might improve a tad.
But again, no. I would be the first to pack my bags, and I was never good at packing.
It is sad to be a successful bum. Contrary to what others might think, I am not having a grand vacation. There is so much loneliness here, and yes, regret, always regret. It approaches with twilight, and comes with mourning, mourning for another day that is ending with nothing happening. (June 24, 1995)
Last Monday, my 6-year old son had their Moving Up Ceremony, graduating from Prep school and moving up to Grade 1. I'm so excited, looking forward to what's in store for him when he goes to a much bigger school. I know my son's capabilities and judging from how he was able to cope in Kindergarten and Prep school (excellently catching up on 5 months worth of lessons because we were not able to come home from the States in time for the June enrollment), I'm confident that Grade School will be a breeze.
As for college, I know he'll have better options. Unlike me, he has two choices. He could choose to stay here and be "spoonfed" or he could study in the US and deal with student loans and work his way to college. Personally, he'll be better off with the latter. And, as long as he won't have to go through what I went through (read above), he'll be alright.