Consumers Domain
Gloria's bright solution
"It isn't that they can't see the solution. It is that they can't see the problem."
--from "Scandal of Father Brown" by G. K. Chesterton
How can you solve the problem of classroom shortage?
Simply change the ideal ratio of student to classroom and your problem is solved! This bright solution came from our western-trained economist president, Gloria Arroyo.
I never knew that economics is this easy. Tsk tsk, if I only knew then, I could have made a flat 1.0 grade in Econ 11! I remember my textbook states that Economics is the efficient allocation of scarce resources. Now Arroyo's solution is wonderful and laudable! Gloria Arroyo solved the problem of classroom shortage.
Let us say we have 10 classrooms and the ideal classroom-to-student ratio is 1 classroom for every 50 students. If we have a total of 1,000 students, only 500 students would have classrooms and the other half would have to make do of a nearby shady tree -- so there is a shortage. The solution to make 10 classrooms enough for 1,000 students is to simply change the ideal ratio to 1 classroom to every 100 students!
Arroyo allocated the classrooms, which are now scarce in this country, in an efficient way; in fact so efficient you don't have to spend a single centavo. And she did it in a speedy manner, as all she did was a few presses on her calculator. By simply adjusting some ratios and modifying the definition of "classroom shortage", Arroyo solved the problem in a flash. How efficient could you get?
Never mind that 100 students are cramped in each classroom. Never mind that the number of hours of study of each student was cut in almost half. Never mind that the standard of instructions are not being met. Never mind that the quality of learning is deteriorating.
Never mind that 50 students to a teacher is already high enough that the teacher could not possibly monitor the development of his/her pupils effectively. And never mind that by doubling this to 100 students to a teacher is making it even worse and making genuine teaching impossible. Never mind.
What is important is that we can declare: THERE IS NO MORE CLASSROOM SHORTAGE. Isn't that neat? This is a historical era and we should rejoice!
Now let us apply this new knowledge in economics that we have just acquired from our bright (never mind bogus) president.
Next problem -- How can we solve the problem of lack of access to health care?
That's a no brainer! Applying the same bright economic idea, we can simply modify some ratios and definitions. Now, say the ideal physician-to-population ratio is one physician to every 1,000 persons. Clearly, we are far from that standard and the sad reality is that we have a big shortage of doctors especially in the rural areas.
Ok, now let's buckle down to work and solve this problem. Everyone grab your calculator! Let us change the ideal physician-to-population ratio to 1 physician to every 20,000 Filipinos! Pronto, now shortage of health practitioners is a thing of the past!
This is easy and fun. Now here is the next problem -- How can we make the housing shortage disappear?
Again, the no-sweat solution, as set by Arroyo's example, is simply by changing some ratio. The ideal ratio is of course one housing unit per one family. The current situation especially in urban poor communities is that there are two, three or even five families in one dwelling unit. The solution -- let us change the standard ratio to one dwelling unit for every 20 families! We can even include the bridge in our definition of a proper dwelling unit. So who now can say that we have housing shortage?
Now let us go to the next problem -- How can you make poverty a thing of the past?
Again, utilizing the same bright economic idea, we can simply modify some ratios and definitions to solve the problem. Now we define that poverty is existent only if a family never ate a single meal in a week. With that adjusted definition, no Filipino can be considered impoverished. We have licked poverty in a snap.
You see, we can solve many of our problems with Arroyo's brilliant, all-weather, multi-purpose, flexible, and uncomplicated solution. The government is doing something after all. So let us sit back, relax, enjoy and witness the only problem-solving activity that this government is good at -- window-dressing.
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