Serendipity
Words don't come easy
I must admit that I'm no short story writer. I used to dread going to my fiction writing class in college because not only did my teacher bore me (alas, a Palanca-winning novel does not a teacher make), but I had to sit with my classmates for an hour and a half and critique each other's stories. At the end of every class, egos were reduced to the size of lentils while ruthless classmates (those who had absolutely no qualms in lambasting stories) were mentally blacklisted. We didn't put our names on our short stories so even your best friend could be your worst enemy.
I remember what it felt like sitting in that classroom while listening to my classmates dissect my "masterpieces" (I used to call them "mashed-terpieces" because they ended up mashed and squashed into unrecognizable white pulps after one of those mutilating sessions). Of course I knew how bad some of my stories were, but somehow, I also had this sado-masochistic urge to hear what they had to say.
In one of our classes, I submitted one story that I knew I was able to write well in terms of the imagery, the dialogue, the setting, as well as the descriptions of my characters. But the bad part was the plot of the story. I knew it sucked big time because when I was writing it, I didn't know how to end it (this happens all the time -- believe me, it's the story of my life). I ended up killing my major character with a dull knife he kept under the sole of his left boot. Apparently, my main character, a seemingly sane jongleur from medieval France suddenly went cuckoo and dagger-happy, almost magically producing a weapon that was concealed in his footwear (one he never knew he had until I made him remember it -- hey, I'm not the writer for nothing) which he ultimately used to kill himself. Now that's what I call a conveniently lousy ending.
Comments like "the writer's imagery is so vividly alive" and "the prose is beautiful" was suddenly followed by "but this story reminds me of a peacock, the prose is beautiful, yes, but behind the beautiful words and the imagery, there's absolutely nothing. The plot sucks!" And that comment was followed by even more cruel remarks and the rest as they say is history.
I have never written or even attempted to write a short story after that class. Well, if it's any consolation, at least I got a 1.0 in poetry with the late national artist Franz Arcellana. He was always so supportive of young writers and often had something good to say about our works, well, except maybe one time when, in the middle of reading a poem submitted by one of my classmates he suddenly shouted, "this poem makes me want to puke!" I guess that classmate, wherever she is right now, has long abandoned all hopes of becoming a poet.
Writing is hard work. It's more than just having a passion for the craft. It involves finding the right words and making sure that once you find them they would all blend harmoniously like a well-rehearsed orchestra. I've been writing since I was 8 or 9, but until now I'm still bumbling and tripping over thickets of words, ideas and grammatical structures like a clumsy idiot. I don't want to take my writing too seriously. Sometimes it's better not to try too hard and just let the words and ideas flow. Yes, words really don't come easy for us writers, especially us Filipino writers who write in English. But here's something I got from my mailbox that will probably come in handy when I'm having problems in finding the right words.
English-Tagalog Dictionary:
1) Contemplate - kulang ang mga pinggan
2) Punctuation - pera para maka-enrol
3) Ice Buko - nagtatanong kung ayos na ang buhok
4) Tenacious - sapatos na pang tennis
5) Calculator - tawagan kita mamaya
6) Devastation - sakayan ng bus
7) Protestant - Tindahan ng prutas
8) Statue - Ikaw ba yan?
9) Tissue - Ikaw nga!
10) Predicate - Pakawalan mo ang pusa
11) Dedicate - Pinatay ang pusa
12) Aspect - Pantusok o pandurog ng yelo
13) Deduct - Ang pato
14) Defeat - Ang paa (ng pato)
15) Detail - Ang buntot (ng pato)
16) Deposit - Ang Gripo (Call Diploma if Deposit is leaking)
17) City - Bago mag-utso; a number to follow 6
18) Cattle - Doon nakatila ang Hali at Leyna
19) Persuading - Unang Kasal
20) Depress - Ang nagkasal sa Persuading
22) Defense - Ginamit ng mga pangsulat sa kontrata sa Persuading
23) It Depends - Kainin mo ang bakod
24) Shampoo - Bago mag-labing-isha (11)
25) Delusion - Maluwang (kapag maluwang ang damit, eh delusion)
26)Delivery - Walang bayad. Kapag working lunch, eh delivery na ang tanghalian
27) Profit - Patunayan mo
28) Balance Sheet - What comes out after eating a balance diet
29) Backlog - bacon saka egg
30) Beehive - magpakatino ka
31) CD-ROM - tingnan mo ang kwarto
32) Debug - ang ipis
33) Defrag - ang palaka
34) Defense - ang bakod
35) Defer - ang balahibo
36) Deflate - ang plato
37) Detest - ang eksamin
38) Devalue - 'yon ang susunod sa letrang V
39) Devote - ang boto
40) Dilemma - brownout, a!