Impulses
Oxymoron
Is there such a thing as "military intelligence?"
Most academicians and radicals will think otherwise.
Yes, "military intelligence" is a common example of an oxymoron--a rhetorical figure in which an epigrammatic effect is created by the conjunction of incongruous or contradictory terms. Well, that's according to Webster.
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Taken from the sexually-tempered Greek words Oxus (sharp) and Moros (dull), oxymoron, in simpler terms, is a self-contradicting phrase, just like my profession "civil engineering" and the alleged foundation of my other line-of-work, "journalism ethics."
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For sure, we are all familiar with this "pensive allegorical" term. But sometimes we tend to disregard its crispiness, or worse, its alleged lack of "common sense." Albeit, we, that include the most intelligent ones, continue using the various phrases that, if we rationalize it deeper, will appear to be "realistically baloney."
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Take the cases of "almost exactly," "exact estimate," or "alone together." How can things be exact if it is only a product of approximation? Worse, being alone can never mean you are with somebody else, right?
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Let's have another one: "corporate conscience" A business firm, no matter how religious or socially conscious it is, is always anchored on the unchristian concept of profit, profit, above all! (That's why Marx suggests the abolition of private property and pushes for the "democratic dictatorship" of the proletariat.)
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In math, we always use the term "constant variable." If we hate the person, we call him "butt-head." If you want to be a better PC-literate person, you take an "advanced basic" course. And if computers are always pregnant with hackers and crackers, why do we use "computer security" to ooze out an impression of "electronic safety?"
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Isn't it "clearly ambiguous" to use "genuine imitation" for fake products such as "plastic glasses" in downtown Iloilo? How about total "marital bliss?" Only the unmarried ones use this term, for obvious reasons. And when we are fuming mad we say "good shit" or, well, "good grief!" That's "simply odd!"
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When we replicate a document, we call it an "original copy."
It is "pretty ugly" to say that you are an "abortion doctor." How is that possible, thought? A doctor doesn't kill, but heal right?
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How can you "act naturally?" Better yet make sense of a "clearly misunderstood" statement?
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Until now, I still ask, is there such a thing as a "bad sex?" what about the validity of the so-overused term "premature ejaculation?" These seem to be unimaginable for many people to happen.
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Take the case of this excerpt in an obviously oxymoronic column of mine that was published in The Manila Times eons ago when I was still an as-if reporter cub:
In my "unbiased opinion," the "intense apathy" of the Filipinos on the course of the "holy war" in Mindanao is "old news." Although this form of "passive aggression" is part of our "modern history," an evolved "Filipino identity," never shall this be as effective as in the makeup of "humanitarian invasion" through a "peace force."
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Here's more. Who will argue if I say that "governmental efficiency" is, indeed, purely contradictory? And to some "hopelessly optimistic" businesspersons, they thought that there is such a thing as a "safe investment." Isn't it that investment is synonymous to raking risks that is never safe at all? Imagine a "zero deficit." O c'mon, a shortfall that is never a shortage or a surplus?
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Experience wise, I have already heard lots of "mandatory options" in school meetings. People wearing "unique uniforms" and using "non-stick" glues... a "paid volunteer" with a salary ... a non-white, non-brown or a non-black hue that is called a "neutral color"... a "new and improved" collection of "new antiques"... and a "painless torture," describing the making of often-not-followed "lesson plans."
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Although a "minor crisis," this dilemma of ours in using oxymoron is inexorable. Everybody is a "living dead!" This is just like drinking "non-alcoholic wine" and wishing there's no bit of spirited features on it.
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Who will object to the fact that "political science" is more of an art than an organized, measurable knowledge? Or that science has laws, not "scientific dogmas?" How can bloody "civil wars" be civil?
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I might be "clearly misunderstood" by some but just like "elementary calculus" (an advanced subject that rejects any stupid concept of a "curved line"), it's okay for me to be misconstrued since, in the first place, I made this article out of "practical sense" and through "planned serendipity." This is simply an act of impulse.
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In short, I "mean nothing" but "random logic." Pardon me.
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Engr. Herman Lagon may be reached through h_lagon@yahoo.com.