Rational Insanity
My 15 most effective text replies/excuses for pesky texters
Did you ever have a pesky texter? Someone who keeps on texting you if you can be their text mate? Most of the time sending text messages that are grammatically terrible or quite pointless. Well I haven't had just one, considering that I used to post my cell phone number in most of my written pieces.What I consider a decent text from an anonymous person is a text that would first, introduce the texter, second, state his/her reason for texting, and finally, include an apology for the unnecessary bother.If I get a text with none of these elements, I simply send one of my text excuses - the list keepson growing, I have to be original you know. At least this would be a better alternative to having my cell phone number changed, which would usually cost me from 3-6 hundred pesos, depending on whether I would like a vanity number or not. Writer's aren't rich you know, and I would be flat broke if I had to change my number every time there was a pesky texter, so I have to be creative instead.Anyway, for your own consumption, here are fifteen of my most effective replies/excuses to pesky texters. By the way, I have used all of these already, but they still seem to work, so if you want to try them out, text on! (All replies are for the assumed incoming text of 'Pwede maki-text mate):
1.Sure!Why not?But just so you know, I'm a gay/lesbian with an insatiable appetite for sadistic sex.
2.Sure, as long as you can get me pregnant/you allow me to impregnate you.
3.in less than 160 characters give me a reason to keep on texting a loser.
4. Idon't need text mates, I have a lot of friends and I don't even have time for all of them. Could you offer something more substantial?
5. Last piso ko na to.Pa pasaload please. No pasa load, no reply.
6.Hay salamat!Please paki contact sang polis!Nakidnap ako!kaina pa ko ga-text sa pamilya ko wala gid sila ga reply!Ari ko di sa warehouse matun sa may Tapaz!Please, maluoy ka!
7.Ari lang ko sa likod mo, text text ka pa - lingat bala.
8.Sorry, but you may text my husband if you want, but he is blind, so I read all his text messages for him.
9.Sure, but answer this first - What is my mother's maiden name?Wrong answer - no reply.
10.I still have a session with my parole officer, but if you want, I'll text you later.
11.Bata ni ni Bryan. Ma ano ka tani kay tatay?
12.My lover works at Smart/Globe/Sun and he is veeeeeeerrryy jealous, as in killing jealous!
13.hu u? (when he/she replies, just reply again with a hu u, and if he/she replies again, reply with another hu u... ad infinitum!)
14. Ask a friend (preferably Marcel) to give your text mate a harassing call.
15. Do not reply at all.
All right - now with these replies, the worst that could happen is when and if your pesky texter has slow wit and an unresponsive intellect, otherwise, all these will work perfectly.
Pesky texters beware!
Be rational; be insane... every once in a while! TTFN!
Happy Three Kings to my dearest readers, I love you all! Gear up for the summer!Next week naman greetings ha!Byers! Mmmmmmmwah!