Accents
The agony of May Wan and Rosemarie
Second of two parts
In the previous column, I wrote of two persons in agony: May Wan, daughter of Luisa Posa Dominado, and Rosemarie, wife of Nilo Arado. I missed two more: Tamara, May Wan's younger sister, and DM, Nilo and Rosemarie's son children who keep asking, one about her mother, the other about his father.
Two daughters, a wife, and a son continue to agonize over the pain of their loved ones' disappearance. In a 'disappearance,' the families of the 'disappeared' suffer a continuing agony. Anxiety is heart-breaking. Too deep for tears, to give poet Wordsworth's verse a twist in meaning. Or, it could be there's no more to shed because the well has dried up from whence profuse tears did spring. In other human rights violations such as torture, arbitrary detention, and extrajudicial execution, the fate of the prisoner or detainee is known.
Studies made by psychiatrists, psychologists, and doctors revealed "a prolonged state of crisis, in which the anguish and pain caused by the absence of a loved one continues indefinitely. It is the crushing reality of loss coupled with the unreality of death that afflicts the families of those who have 'disappeared.' The result is a form of mental torture brought about by either the suspension of bereavement or the feeling of helplessness and paralyzing uncertainty..."
Indeed, uncertainty paralyzes. Will the knock at the door finally come? If it does come, what tidings will it bring? Life or death? Life to nurture and strengthen anew? Or a body to bury? Painfully crushing though it be, the latter provides a point in time from which to move on. In the case of the 'disappeared,' the emotional trauma continues because no one knows what happened to the missing.
There's a pain goes on and on… Marius, a character in Victor Hugo's Les Miserables, sang his heart out for the fallen and the 'disappeared.' Rosemarie's letter to husband Nilo (a copy was sent to us) speaks of a pain that goes on and on… Excerpts:
Today (April 28) is our 8th year wedding anniversary. It has been almost 15 days of your disappearance… This night will be cold, but I will just keep the flame of courage burning in my heart to give me strength each day as I wait eagerly for your safe return.
Our son, DM, keeps on asking me if when will you be home. That query is giving me a wrench in the heart, for I myself do not know if when would that be. My dear, I sometimes feel that everything is uncertain. But I keep holding on to the belief that wherever you are, you still have that love for me, for DM, and for the people whom you serve.
When you opted to live a life with the oppressed, just like Luisa, you knew the consequence of being tagged as communist, terrorist, a destabilizer, a threat to the society. This is the price of being faithful to forward the cause of building a just and humane society. This is truly a noble endeavor. And I never regretted that we are together in this cause. And until that night of April 12, when some unidentified armed men forcibly abducted you and Luisa, I couldn't almost believe that we are now starting to face the fascist attack of this regime.
They took you away from DM and me and from the people you serve. I urge the Arroyo government and the Armed Forces of the Philippines to locate you and Luisa. And until this 8th year of our marriage, I only hope to see and be with you.
I am hurting. I am gnashing my teeth to think of those who abducted you and Luisa. Who'll be next from our ranks? Who'll be the next target of the Oplan Bantay Laya II of this government? This anti-insurgency scheme has already claimed almost 900 lives from the ranks of activists, media persons, and human rights advocates. They don't even care for our cry for justice. They aren't deaf and dumb for sure. But once they operate with military precision and swiftness positively identifying their targets, we can say that only this government can make this happen.
I am fearful of that day to come when more Luisas and Nilos will just simply disappear. I am also fearful when there will also be like Leeboy being shot in any time of the day. To whom will I turn to? I hope I can still lean on to this government and seek justice for those victims of political repression.
To those who knew of the whereabouts of Nilo and Luisa, please let us know. Please help us save the lives of Luisa and Nilo from the hands of their abductors.
My love, on this day, I will make vow to myself. I am re-affirming my love to you as my husband, as the father of DM, and as my comrade in the service to the people. You may be physically absent, but I will foster a more fervent commitment to continue with what you have been doing. Yes, I am hurt and in pain, but these aren't enough for me to take even a few steps backward. I know more families are even grieving for having the same fate that we have.
Nilo, I love you very much. We miss you so dearly. Happy 8th year wedding anniversary!
(Sgd) ROSEMARIE D. ARADO
To Rosemarie, DM, May Wan, and Tamara, we are with you in love and prayers.
(Comments to lagoc@hargray.com)