Blogger
Adoption and safety at the overpass
Many people used to ask me why I don' t have kids. I would always answer them that I chose not to have any. This answer is always met with a comment, "It's better to have kids. You'll need them when you grow old." They have a point. But I would answer, "I'll adopt one in the future, if I'm ready." Not satisfied, they will insist on what they want and say, "Lain gid ya kon imo bata (It's different if it's your own child)." I understand their sentiments. They are happy having children of their own and they want me to experience the same.
Anyway, eversince I was in college, I was always concerned by how fast our population grows. The failure of irresponsible and immature parents to get into family planning has partly contributed to a lot of urban poor, poverty and depletion of our natural resources. Added to that, there are so many unwanted children who end up in the streets or in orphanages. They are lucky if they find foster homes. If not, some end up as juveniles.
So I reflected, "Why add more to the population when you can be a parent to one of these kids?" Since then, I have braced myself on the possibility of adopting when the right time comes.
The argument of having one's own child is that you know when he or she came from. You are secure that if you came from a good family and genes, your children would inherit such. You're lucky if the child you're adopting came from a relative you know so well.
In adopting, there is this fear that the child may not turn out the way we want it to be. I used to presume that children without parents have this certain level of insecurities because while they were inside the mother's womb, the feeling of being unwanted is already there. I assume that the mother carrying the child is stressed and problematic about the pregnancy. Why else would she give up that child in the first place if she's ecstatic about it?
Adoption is a life-changing experience. It's accepting and loving another person as if he or she were your own. All of the package of good and bad qualities.
Children are human beings in need of love and care. They are not like clothes, shoes or other commodities that we check out if they are in good working condition or durable. That if they don't satisfy our tastes, we ignore them and move on to check out another commodity, until we find something that is almost perfect for us to take home.
So, the next time you fear adoption, think of your opportunity to mold an individual into becoming a better person. These kids will eventually grow anyway. It's either they grow as juveniles or grow as society's pride under your love and care.
* * *
Krifia, a reader sent me this e-mail in response to my previous article, "Contagious."
The edited material goes: I read about your column Blogger in The News Today. I was impressed about it. Let those people complain. Later, they will realize that the project makes sense after all. One time, as I was passing the street along La Paz, two ladies were talking about an incident in the overpass going to Gaisano City. I'm concerned with the employees who pass the overpass late at night because they want to save on fare. As they were passing the overpass, a group of guys robbed and maltreated them. All I'm asking is, sana may pulis dun na nakabantay to avoid this incident. Dami na daw na ganung pangyayari pero wala pa ring action. At least in your column, mabasa nila and they could act on this. (A police should man the area. There have been several instances like this, but until now, no action has been taken). Thank you.
(For comments, e-mail to katvillalon@yahoo.com)