Res Gestae
Adopted, proud and happy
It is uncommon that adopted children feel the stigma of being unwanted and unloved, especially by their biological parents. In worst cases, adopted children even develop hatred towards their foster parents. The ill feelings towards their biological parents are maybe natural and justified by some reasons. What is difficult to understand is the hatred or blame against the foster parents, except maybe for when the latter did not fulfill the obligation of parents that they suppose to their adopted child.
I know some stories of adopted children suppressing anger, hatred and even curse to their foster parents. This is so especially when, instead of love and acceptance, they are despised and unaccepted. But, I also know many adopted children who feel so special, proud and happy with their status and the circumstances that make of their stories. Mark Borres, a friend of mine, is one of these (adopted) children who do not only feel lucky and blessed for the circumstances that made him so, but also want the world to know that he is an adopted child and proud and happy to be one.
During his 25th birthday, Mark invited me in his "celebration of faith and life". It was a dinner party with his families (biological and foster), friends and people who have made a positive difference in his life.
The party was meant to celebrate Mark's success in search of his biological parents and eventually his family. And why not! Since he was only 7 or 8 years old, Mark discovered that he was different from the Borres clan. He was called by his "relatives" as "alila", a dialect in his place for adopted. And from that very tender age, Mark searched for truth – truth of his true identity.
It was not easy as there was no trace of his beginning. The woman who handed him over to his foster parents was nowhere to find. Any of his "relatives" neither knows where he came from. But, Mark did not lose hope. He believed that HE will find a way.
Last Christmas, a text message put an end to Mark's quest for truth. On New Year, Mark together with his foster mother met his family. Emotions filled the encounter. Mark said he was having mixed feelings of success, thanksgiving and being complete. He felt so lucky… so blessed to see his family. It was the reason for the celebration.
As one of the witnesses in Mark's "celebration of faith and life" and seeing how elated he was amidst his families, relatives and friends, I can only imagine how would the many adopted children feel if they chance to meet their biological families. Would they feel the same as Mark did?
Indeed, I can only imagine the feelings of an adopted child meeting his biological parents. But, I tend to believe that adopted children, regardless of their stories must thank for their being. I see children who scavenge for food in garbage. Aborted infants. Abandoned children. Their parents may be poor. Irresponsible. Calloused. I wish I could give them decent living. Save them. Love them. But since I cannot for all of them, I wish they could find parents who can give them decent living. Save them. Love them. And when these children are old enough to understand, I wish to hear them say as Mark did: Looking back, I see good times and bad times, fulfillment and blessed events. As I look back, I seem to sense the coercive hand of destiny, making things happen, making things fall into place, leading me through and endless maze of change and choice bringing me where I am.
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