Accents
Very, Very Urgent!!!
Relax! The title of this weeks column was meant to be intentionally so-over-the-top literally and figuratively. (Notice that it got exempted from the style of this paper.) All caps, bold face, and three exclamation points—way to catch your attention, huh. Like youre catching a plane flight, and every second counts. You spew out all the damnedest cuss words at the traffic, unmindful that you caused your own misery, being the slow poke that you are. But I stray too much.
About a week ago, I read in the Philippine newspapers online that the good name of UP Prof. Leonor Briones was used in computer hacking. The story goes that she was stranded in Nigeria and needed $3,500 to be home in Manila. The fact is Prof. Briones is very much in the home country. If a gullible relative had sent the money to bail Prof. Briones out of her predicament, the poor fellow has just become a scam victim. And a willing scam victim I would have been if I had played eager-beaver to the VERY, VERY URGENT!!! e-mails subject line (I used as title of this weeks column)—faithfully following what I was told to do including sending my bank account number. Deposited therein was a measly, measly sum that would have made the sender shed tears in disappointment or probably cursing me in anger.
Webster defines scam as "a fraudulent or deceptive act or operation." Webster didnt give the word scammer, but I think the term is appropriate enough for the Internet predators or cyberpests now thriving in outer space, yet comfortably rooted in terra firma devising ways and means how to empty your bank deposits—well, at least for those who have bank deposits.
Prof. Briones case reminds me to publicize the scammers who have infiltrated my e-mails. Ive jotted them down whenever a ball pen is handy. Gush, I have more than twenty on my list. I have all the scammers already typed in when my resident-lawyer, also referred to as the significant other, told me to skip the names. "You write those names, and in case—just in case—a real person by any of those names exists, you can be liable for libel. Okay, if you can show the e-mail, but youve deleted them all save for the names," Rudy explained. For all I know, those twenty and more may only be one or two persons assuming different names and using different e-mail addresses.
To one Mrs. J.W. (this time initials are okay because my dear husband said initials can stand for anybody), I wrote a very weepy reply because Mrs. J.W. said, "Im dying of cancer, and youre not to tell my doctor that Im making you my heir." I had extra time by then, so why not play her game, give her enough rope with which to hang herself or show her true color—anyway something of that sort. She sent me a photo with that particular doctor by her bedside, and just conveniently dropped me, her heiress-to-be, when I pasted a list of cancer literature for delivery to her Inbox. Of course, I did not send the standard info scammers ask: Full Name, Sex, Marital Status, Contact Home Address, State/City, Zip Code (NB: No Postal Address Please), Country, Contact Phone Number. What could have followed was her asking for my bank account number to which would be deposited the millions I would inherit. Once the scammer takes hold of the Bank Acct. No., he/she knows clever ways to empty the content.
Variations of the same theme came from Mrs. R. I. who is "undergoing cancer treatment in Russia," Lady T. H. of UK who wrote "in Good Faith I am without a child," no heir but with cancer, and Mrs. S. P. whose husbands relatives are "not Christians and I dont want my husbands hard earned money to be misused by unbelievers. Please always be prayerful all through your life." With no time to dilly-dally, household chores having piled up, I skimmed through many overly sentimental others, and always, cancer was the senders ailment of choice. Oh, well, the disease has acquired the reputation of being a death sentence.
To be the next-of-kin of the deceased who journeyed to eternal life without leaving a will is the proposition usually done by scammers who call themselves barristers. Barrister C. T., Esq., wrote that hes a lawyer based in Nigeria and that "a national of your country with wife and 2 children died in a motor accident leaving behind a huge sum." Barrister P. J. C. and several other "barristers" enticingly offered their services to fine tune the document that would name me as the next-of-kin beneficiary, eventually making millionaires of the barrister and me. Typical of these proposals is this one from G. P., "In charge of Foreign Unit, African Development Bank Group: 'Billionaire businessman died along with his wife – left US$18.4 M for our progress and richness. You are a foreigner to our country, you are authorized by our Banking law to apply and claim the fund into your account as the NEXT-OF-KIN to the deceased." Oftentimes these "lawyers" have their practice in UK, Nigeria, or Africa. Three barristers sent video clips of the plane crash (lifted from the networks) that caused the poor billionaire to breathe his last.
Cyberpests fly thick like bees to honey as soon as they learn of an e-mail address to target. Waste no time, Sirs and Madams, once they get into your Inbox. Just hit the delete button quick. Me? Reason why I made jottings of these e-mail frauds is to have a topic for a column as what Im doing now—similar to "Beware of e-mail scams!" I wrote in 2005 to prevent anyone from being victimized. (In next weeks continuation, find out Why I googled Mrs. Maria M. Socorro.)
(Comments to lagoc@hargray.com)