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Just the way you are
"I like you just the way you are."
That's the line from the movie "Bridget Jones' Diary" when Colin Firth told Renee Zelwegger that despite her being clumsy, unsophisticated and a little overweight.
I also heard that similar line during my trip to Manila last week. Before I dozed off at the van, I overheard my fellow media practitioners talk about a friend who always had trouble with relationships because of her unique nature of being needy and clingy. Then, the woman reporter turned to me and said, "But we love her just the way she is." I think that was really sweet of her and I admire her for having a kind heart, for being able to understand her friend despite the friend's imperfections.
When I was in college, I rented an apartment with Rita, a student from another school. She's a native of Pampanga. When Mt. Pinatubo erupted and buried most of the area with lahar, Rita's sisters had to live with us. One of the sisters, Marina, has Down Syndrome. Down syndrome is a set of physical and mental traits caused by a gene problem that happens before birth. Children with Down syndrome tend to have certain features, such as a flat face and a short neck. They also have some degree of mental retardation. Marina fumbled on many things and I saw how her sisters patiently helped her. I never heard any of them raise their voice on her because her pace is slower than that of the others. That experience of living with Marina had taught me many things. One is patience because I also had to be with Marina when Rita and the sisters are busy in school. Second, is respecting another person's pace. Third, is accepting people as they are because at one time, Rita told me, "We love her just the way she is."
Bles and John seemed like an odd couple for our society's standards. Bles is a reserved, high-paying and respected career woman. John is a rock music artist, he sports long hair and dresses like a Bohemian. When together, people think that John is her "alalay". Some of those who find out they are lovers, raise their eyebrows in question. Bles and and John had been together for eight years now and seemed to enjoy their difference in personalities. I asked Bles about this and she said, "A person looks for a partner who is exactly like him or her, with the belief that when you are so unlike each other, the relationship won't work out. You see, John and I have different wants. We treat our differences as what make our relationship exciting. Yes, we do have fights because we have different likes, but I'd like to focus on that difference as an excitement rather than a hindrance. Besides, the patching up is always sweetest. Anyway, I love John just the way he is. Besides, beneath that happy-go-lucky and hippie facade is a good heart," Bles said. They are getting married on May.
I think accepting and loving for people for what they should not be limited for the good hearted. Like commitment to be with someone, acceptance should be more of a decision rather than a personality that is inherent in us. It is a must for us not to be close-minded in order to make this world better. After all, human beings are diverse because God made us that way, so we may lean on each other.
Miss Socialite might find it hard to touch a grease-filled beggar at first. Or for Mister Joe to stop himself from screaming at the driver who irritated him that morning. I wasn't able to stop myself from being irritated with a friend who was gossiping last week, so I snapped at him. I mean, I failed to realize that after giving him a piece of my mind, I should have left it at that; case closed. I shouldn't have felt irritated because somehow feeling that way was a symptom of non-acceptance of my friend for being what he is.
Everyday is such a challenge. People have a way of really disturbing our sensibilities. And when we are disturbed, we tend to shy away. But there's another way. We can always reach out to others, by believing that even the most obnoxious bloke you met this morning is God's special child, just like everybody else.
I received two comments from last week's column entitled "Bleed Myself Dry." One female texter said, "Good day, I read your Blogger yesterday and I felt sad about Lissa. Like her, I was also hurt in the past." Another female texter said, "I liked your column. I was once a pillow, too. Neglected."
(For comments, SMS to 0928-5057-824 or e-mail to lifestyle@thenewstoday.info)