Accents
Statement of Tamara Michelle Posa Dominado
I yield my space to Tamara Michelle Posa Dominado, 15-year old daughter of Maria Luisa "Luing" Posa-Dominado, who was abducted by unknown elements, April 12, 2007 along with Nilo Arado. Luing is the spokesperson of SELDA (Society of Ex-Detainees for Liberation, Against Detention, and for Amnesty). Nilo is a national council member of AnakPawis (Peasant Movement of the Philippines). Hereunder are outpourings of youth bereft of the loving care of a mother — words livid with inconsolable distress, extreme depression, and rage that could sear the hardened hearts of their abductors:
April 12, 2007, it was also the day I lost everything. Not only did I lose my mom, I lost my dreams, I lost my hopes, I lost my future, all my plans, our plans, they will never be played out. That day I even almost lost my sanity but then someone brought me back to reality. And so here I am, still standing, breathing, living this broken life.
April 12, 2008. It has already been a year. And all I can say is that this situation is driving me crazy. I battle with depression almost everyday. My feelings are so fragile now that small problems or disappointments would cause me to cry and remember better days with my mother, which would cause me to cry more and more because I miss her so much.
My life is so different now after a year. And it is much more different to have my sister control my life. She does things differently than my mom. Yes, it is different now, so very different. And I cannot count how many times I've hope, dreamt, and wished on stars that my mom just came home on this day last year, safe and sound and maybe bringing along a bag of food to eat. Then maybe today, instead of all these tears we cry for her, instead of our disappointments, our fears, our depressions, instead of me and my sister's shattered dreams, our hopes, our futures, we would all be happy, my sister, she could have studied better, she could even be a lawyer right now, then she would be causing all you evil people a lot of hell, and my mom, my mom would be helping all the poor, all the helpless, she'd still be fighting for their rights, doing all she can do, giving them all that she can give, and then, when she has the time after all that, maybe my mom and I would be talking about my college, she'd be helping me achieve my dreams, helping and guiding me all the way, she'd always find the time for everyone even when there's no time to spare. We'd still be hearing her voice, hear her loud, booming laugh, see her smile even when she has a million problems to think about. She would still be here for us.
But instead of a happy ending, no, you had to take her away from us; you had to take her for all your selfish greedy needs. You, whoever you stupid people are, did not think that she had a family that needs her, and if you did think, which I think you did, I know you hoped that we'd suffer like this, that we'll be more afraid, we'd fear you, we'd cower before you with our tails between our legs. But you know what? Who are you to be feared? Can't you see? Angry, suffering, people fear nothing.
Me? I am angry. I loathe every one of you who forced us into this life. I swear, just a few more disappointments, a few more shattered dreams, I'll lose my sanity. But I'll try my hardest not to. I need to be strong, to be brave. I know that's what my mom would want. She'll be disappointed if I'm not. She wasn't afraid of you and neither am I. Scare me with your guns and you death threats and everything you've got. I won't afraid. You already took everything from me.
Whoever did this to my mom and tito and all the countless others who have suffered the same fate. You should be ashamed of what you're doing. Even I, a 15 year old, know that what you did was wrong. And aren't you ashamed that you still need a 15 year old to tell you that what you did was wrong? What? Are you gonna tell me that what you did was for the good of the nation? Cause I can't see any good in abducting innocent people who unlike you, are, helping the nation. Can't you see that for yourselves? What are you 2 years old or something?
Whoever you are, I wish that you have a good life anyways. I hope you live a better life with your families. I hope your families won't be forced upon a life like we have had. I also hope that you're sons and daughters won't grow up to be like you, stupid, apathetic, and cowardly individuals. And after living your life and teaching you're children not to be like you, when you're already too old and have had enough of all the bad things that you've done and have had given enough to your families to sustain their future, well, there would be nothing else but to hope that you die… and burn in hell…
(Comments to lagoc@hargray.com)