Cerebral Combustion
Get mad, and then get over it. Maybe.
I have an extremely short fuse that I admit. I have been told many times that my temper haphazardly functions like a bomb. Often, I feel like at a mercy of an unpredictable and powerful emotion which not only frustrates me when I do not get to precisely express and respond from situations that causes mild irritation to intense fury and rage.
My memory sporadically transmits unhappy thoughts caused particularly by external events which at a certain time can easily trigger feelings of distrust, disgust and anger. I get hurt easily, for the most part by people who without basis unjustly destroys my emotional and psychological stability and when provoked, my instinctive way to fight and defend myself is to respond, albeit aggressively, through expressing myself in anger. Even I surprise myself sometimes. I never realized how profoundly furious I am until, out of serious aggravation, and assertively confronting the situation or the person, I hurt myself physically just to let it all come out. And yes, I often refuse to forgive and forget. It doesn't help when you constantly remember hurtful memories especially from people you cared.
Now my predicament is am I too angry at a fault or that I need an anger management intervention?
We all know what anger is and I am sure that at a certain point of your life you have intensely felt it and that like other emotions it can be overwhelming, causing your blood pressure to go up, shiver in fury and exasperatingly drain your moral balance. But what really is the balanced approach to anger? And how does one let go of the mad baggage?
Psychologically speaking, anger is a natural and adoptive response to threats; it inspires powerful, often aggressive feelings and behaviors which allows us to fight and to defend ourselves when we are attacked. A certain amount of anger therefore is necessary to our survival. But people have different responses to anger consciously and unconsciously. How prone you are to anger and how you handle it can be due to a number of things- one maybe genetic or psychological. Research also has found that family background plays a major role.
In today's modern society anger is viewed as an immature and uncivilized reaction or an incorrect projection of the mind. I should know, because I am more often than not construed by others especially by some inconsiderate family members to be morally corrupt because admittedly, I throw fits of inappropriate display of anger to generally appease myself from "bottled up" negative emotions. Recently I have learned that my approach towards anger is more aggressive rather than passive to which according to an article I read, both can, despite the differences in responses, fuel more negative tendencies and cause unhealthy interpersonal relationships.
Of course it creates unhealthy relationships. One thing for sure though, not all of my anger is misplaced. If I am in no doubt that the situation is unjust and unfairly executed, I quickly confront the perpetrator because in the first place it was not me who first provoked a disapproving vibe. But the thing is, being immune to pain, I hardly let go and that becomes a problem.
But as psychologists normally suggests, there is no better way to handle any situation that can lead up to a hiatus encounter but allow your emotion to express yourself in a healthy manner. There are several antidotes to successfully managing anger and violent feelings, such as cognitive restructuring or simply put- changing the way you think. And to achieve a productive result one has to learn to be patient, focused, direct, persistent, and master assertive communication techniques, among others.
Also, forgive and forget as they always say. This is I believe too. But it's easier said than done. Maybe in due time, maybe never.
"Anger is only a natural reaction; one of the mind's ways of reacting to things that it perceives to be wrong. While anger can sometimes lead people to do shocking things, it can also be an instinct to show people that something isn't right."