YOUNG VOICE
Childish & immature
A preschool teacher sat at the middle of a circle formed by seated five-year olds. Her friendly smile kept her pupils' attention. Their cute eyes were glued at her with enthusiasm. "Who among you here, hugs and kisses their parents and says "I love you" to them all the time?" In an instant, several hands with paints of blue, red and yellow (remnants of art class), were thrust into the air, with pride and confidence. The teacher's smile widened, she knew it was going to be a long afternoon; each pupil has a story to tell.
A college professor stood at the middle of the rostrum, her lessons were reflected on the projector screen and her students was doing all they could to scribble some notes and keep themselves awake for the next five hours. Her austere expression morphed into a kinder one when she said, "Who among you here still hugs, kisses and says "I love you" to your parents all the time?" What came next was a moment of transition, and slowly a few hands were almost visible. The professor grinned; she seemed expectant of the outcome. Her topic was about familial relationships and she knew it was going to be a long afternoon.
The question about kissing, hugging and saying "I love you" to parents have varying responses, depending on the reason behind such. Some think that the gesture is childish and immature; that once you're an adolescent, it's embarrassing to even give your parents a kiss on the cheek.
Some, including myself, prefer to maintain these gestures of affection, love and respect to those who have given us life.
I don't know why such gestures are considered as childish and immature. But there are others who think that doing such gestures slows down a person's independence from one's parents.
A friend said that some parents won't let them do such gestures, thus the children grow up inexpressive. He further stated that, to some parents, when a child is affectionate, there's a tendency for a three-day sale in the mall so one can have the coveted shoes and gadgets.
Some children refuse to kiss and hug or even mutter the three magic words because their parents are ice cold.
But either way, I believe that no matter how austere and unemotional parents are, children should initiate these gestures. Whatever their parents' reactions are, at least, the child made an effort to do so.
I am someone who needs to feel in actuality before I would believe. I am someone who needs to be hugged, kissed and be said I love you before I would internalize that you indeed care. It feels really different to kiss your parents goodnight than to just assume that the three of you would have sweet dreams. You have to let them know that you appreciate them. It is so easy for us when we were children to reach for daddy's hug and be soaked in mommy's kisses because we weren't thinking of what others might think. The point is, I love my parents. When we grow older, we realize the worth of our parents and somehow that makes us realize that we should give back rather than grow apart from them.
Hugging and kissing triggers the release of oxytocin, a hormone in our body that causes us to be more relaxed. We all have our fair share of stresses, and our parents are just around. You get two benefits from hugging, kissing and saying I love you. First, you get to feel more relaxed and rejuvenated. Second, you have made someone close to you happier. It just takes some few minutes of tight bear hugs to tell a woman who bore you painstakingly for nine months and eventually risk her life giving birth to you, to let her know you are in gratitude. It just takes some few steps to walk towards your father who, for several years, had worked blood and sweat to offer you the best, to kiss him goodnight and let him know that you appreciate him.
If some would say kissing, hugging and saying I love you to parents is childish and immature, then yes, I am childish and immature.
(For comments and suggestions please send an email to reylangarcia@gmail.com or an SMS to 09186363090. View my blog at http://www.theyoungvoice.blogspot.com)