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Doing things with love
“Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence.” - Eric Fromm
It's been quite a long time since my last opinion column. In the hustle and bustle of everyday living, sometimes, time or inspiration are elusive. But, as they say, there is always a time for everything, that includes coming out with Blogger again.
The eve of Christmas 2008, as far as I can remember, was the first time spent away from my biological family. In my lifetime, I got so used to a big gathering, noisy chatter on just about everything and spending time at the kitchen preparing your food contribution for that night. Then, going to mass, and having noche buena with the family, exchanging of gifts and more.
Instead it was spent with my new extended family, my partner. Well, we had a misunderstanding about how noche buena should be. I was insisting on what I was used to and he was insisting that it was enough that we were together. Anyway, while I was heating up the food that mom and my sister made (I decided to have a packed noche buena), I was fuming mad. To change the mood, I put on my earphones and listened to praise and worship songs in my cellphone. By 9 pm, my phone reminder alarmed and the note said “It's Jesus's birthday later.” Upon reading it, I cried. The anger was gone and it was replaced with the feeling of guilt for wasting my energy on negative emotions.
I thought of my dear friend who has colon cancer who must have been trying his very best at that very moment to set aside his worries about his health, one of our recipients in KKK (Mga Kaibigan ng Mga Kabataang May Kanser) Regine Bonillo who died three days before Christmas and how her family must be very distraught; victims of Frank who are still struggling until now, the sad and the lonely, and more. I thought, “What was I thinking? I am upset over noche buena when this seems to be a small problem compared to what others are going through right now. It's unfair to them, who had been trying to make their Christmas meaningful despite their situation, but here I am, upset over how Christmas eve and the works should be.”
I missed what Christmas was all about. Christmas was never about the elaborate preparations of noche buena, of partying, with whom you spend it with, or where you spend it, if there are many activities or none, if you have ham on the table or none. Christmas is about the child Jesus and what he epitomizes most of all --- love. After that realization (thanks to the phone reminder), I decided to let love guide me.
As the night progressed and the take-out noche buena finished, hands entwined, we watched customers in nearby restaurant enjoying each other's company as they share conversations, food and drinks; a family playing badminton together; a group of students in a caroling ensemble; some young friends working on some fireworks; and the light shining from a neighbor's room. Our Christmas was perfect even if it was just the two of us. It was perfect because we decided to make it that way. I'm glad I chose love over getting mad.
Jesus was born on a manger but He and his love for us was the greatest gift we've ever received. Indeed, love, can always make things better. There's love for your family, friends, associates, lovers, for people who hate you, or your enemies and even love for whatever you are doing that moment – drinking coffee, cooking, or reading.
If you set your emotions to only love, everything will fall into place.
(For comments, e-mail to katvillalon@yahoo.com)