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Change sucks but deal with it
“The Curious Case of Benjamin Button” starring Brad Pitt (Benjamin) and Cate Blanchett (Daisy) was adapted from the 1920s story of F. Scott Fitzerald about a man who was born in his eighties who ages backwards, until he dies as a baby. The movie revolves on his life story and the lessons he has learned from his experiences.
Benjamin, because of his old features when he was born (one person even said that the child may not be even human), was abandoned by his father on the steps of a old folks home where he was loved and cared for. When Benjamin grew up, his father sought him out, made time with him and finally revealed the truth. Benjamin was angry why his father abandoned him. “Why?” he asked.
While he was also growing up (getting younger, I mean), the people around him are getting older and dying. He has witnessed deaths in the old folks home. Until his mother died, too. Getting attached to these older people and losing them is a change that he had to experience again and again. “The people around me kept dying.” They kept on leaving him.
Daisy is a famous ballerina, who by fate, met an accident and could no longer dance. Her accident was a result of a series of seemingly insignificant events not related to her but somehow has affected her future. Her experience reminded me that even small actions can cause ripple effects that could be felt by others. And as they say, when shit happens, what do you do?
Here is Benjamin's answer to the questions raised from the experience with his father, on people he know dying ahead of him and Daisy's accident: You can be mad. You can curse your fate. But in the end, you will have to let go. Because there are things you can't control.
Change is the only thing that is constant in this life. When change occurs, we panic and get jolted. If we are happy, we wish that things will not change. But things do change. Even people change.
When I was happily married, I wished that things wouldn't change. I seem to have everything. I didn't want to ask for anything more. But things changed. We cannot control events and people. Feeling pain and anger is normal, but it is a situation you should not allow yourself to be in for a long time. Because you are the one suffering, not others. And who wants to suffer ? One time, I asked my mother-in-law why I had to lose him. Loving and understanding that she is, she told me, “You can not question God's will.” She was right. When I stopped questioning, I finally took action in making the best of what's left of me.
There are always two choices – look at the positive side and the negative side of things. I suggest, looking at the positive side of a shitty situation is better; it would enable you to see opportunities that will eventually give you more success (blessing in disguise?) and happiness. So, if you start saying “what if”, try to erase that from your mind. Before you know it, those concerns will just fade away. Now that you're on a positive note, plan the good things that you can do to face your new life.
At first, Daisy was depressed because she could no longer walk and dance. Then, one day, she decided that she will not let self-pity set in again. So, she learned to walk again. But because she could not be the perfect ballerina she used to be, she opened a ballet studio instead. She had become a mentor and has influenced the lives of aspiring ballerinas.
In the United States, people are having a hard time dealing with the economic recession. Executives who used to enjoy a lavish lifestyle are now out of work. Some get depressed, but others find meaning in their lot. A Chicago Sun Times news reported of a laid-off executive (Ricky), who spent months standing on a downtown street looking for a job. He found none. Later on, he found work and it is to help others find work. Ricky said that he felt blessed now that he has been put in a position where he can help a lot of people. “It's been going great since then,” he said.
So, change sucks but deal with it positively. You'd be amazed of the blessings you'll find.
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The Iloilo Youth Orchestra and Friends is coming up with an event on Feb. 14, 2009. “Cupid on Strings” is a dinner-concert at the UPV Art Gallery, 6 pm. Seating is limited. For more information, contact 0919.4770.516 or e-mail to iloilo_youth_orchestra@yahoo.com.
(For comments, e-mail to katvillalon@yahoo.com)