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Gossip
Two weeks ago, an acquaintance, R, asked me on whether or not the rumors about a certain model being my ex-boyfriend is true. The model happens to be an ex-boyfriend of my gay friend. I was amused and thanked R for bringing it up. It somehow gave me the chance to clear things up and told him that it's not true.
I told friend V about this and this is all he can say, “Haay, buhay celebrity,” and we laughed.
I was running out of topics for my column and it's such a blessing in disguise. So, I texted some of my friends and asked them about some rumors said about them and how they handled it.
“Someone said that I was having an affair with my bestfriend's lover. And how did I cope with it? I confronted the person who fabricated the story and told him to tell the truth. That he should clear my name or else I will do something that he will regret for the rest of his life. So he did. In the end, I won my bestfriend back,” said Mandy.
“Someone was spreading stories that I was a raving homosexual. So, what I did was confront the rumormonger, gave the person a piece of my mind and slapped him with my rhinestone-studded purse,” said Nonoi Ybiernas, columnist for The News Today.
“A teacher and designer told my cousin (he didn't know that we were related) that I was back into drugs and had no career. I just prayed for his soul,” said BC.
I heard C, a gay, being accused of stealing some tokens from Friend B during a fund raising affair. Then, Friend B herself told me that the stories about C are not true. C was also the topic of discussion during a luncheon. It was said that a model hit C for telling everybody that he slept with C. Anyway, a friend J remarked, “I'd rather not make a comment. I was not there and I don't want to say something that would be unfair.”
Honestly, I also believed the rumors because I never liked C. J's comment reminded me that just because we don't like C, it doesn't mean that he's capable of some of the bad things said about him on some occasions.
I'm no stranger to gossip. With my family being in social circles and with my work of meeting people, you get to hear stories about others. At a young age, I've heard stories about that this person did this and that and I easily believed them because, well, I heard it from people older than me. And I was young and naïve.
Then, high school came and one common exercise that our teachers would make us go through with is how we process information.
In every exercise, the initial or raw information given to the first person end up getting changed with the last person who hears it (in a group of more than 10). This showed us that raw information is processed differently by others, depending on the factors that affect that person hearing it. It was through those exercises that I learned this important lesson: Be careful with what you hear because most of the time, they are already distorted if such did not come directly from the witness. And another lesson, the witness can also be wrong because of “jumping to conclusions.”
Gossip is normally common in people who have so much idle time in their hands. That everything they see or hear are then processed into different variations because, well, they're bored.
Gossip, in reality, is personal and trivial and cannot really be classified as a “normal conversation.” It's a form of lighthearted conversation that we do out of innocence, not thinking that wrong information could actually hurt someone.
It is also a deliberate attack towards another person. The gossiper, however, does not realize that he or she destroys oneself by being the attacker while the person being attacked is living one's life in peace because truth is one his or her side.
We know that when we achieve something from lies, even if we feel we have every right to do so, we end up losing. We lose our freedom because in our hearts, we know that whatever we have has been achieved through false information.
Truthful information is very important in order to get things in their proper perspective. It is through truth that freedom and justice are won.
If you are the victim of gossipers and you know they're lying, be at peace with yourself, for truth is in your side. And if what they say about you is true, live with it, do better and move on. After all, everybody's busy earning a living and tending to their problems. They don't have time to discuss you 24/7.
If you gossip because you want to destroy someone, ask yourself, “Am I happy?” Because most often, it's a cover-up for your lack of happiness and lack of fulfillment and you want your victim to join you in the muck you are in.
And if you're the type who loves to gossip because you're bored, try taking up a hobby. Read a book, do cross stitch, learn to cook, or anything that could make you a better and happier person.