YOUNG VOICE
Toss Coin
Coins, cards, and magic 8 balls, these are mere lifeless forms that are nowhere near making our decision. In the end the one who will actually make and carry out the decision is our very selves.
During one of our rare lengthy free periods, my classmates and I pass the time by engaging in two of the most entertaining activities known to our sleep-deprived lives: eating and toss-coin. A spare of one peso after purchasing a hot bowl of batchoy already counts for hours of live entertainment. While others use the coin for street magic and trade, we found pleasure in letting the coin’s head or tail decide our personal dilemmas. Will I pass the midterm exams? Should I tell him I’m already falling for someone else? Will it rain this evening? Is life still worth living? These questions found temporary answers from the flipping of a silver plated metal.
Then it dawned on me to ask if fate had used the coin to speak to us. But it isn’t the lucky guesses and favorable odds that tempt me to place a coin on top of my thumb and flick it up into the air. It is the coin’s amazing ability to enable us to decide on our own instead of relying on probabilities. There are instances when my classmates would toss the coin once more because they were not satisfied with the results. This simply means they already have a choice in mind, or they simply have an option that weighs more than the other. We asked if everyone in our section would pass the board exam on 2011 and agreed that heads would mean yes while tails would mean no. As the coin was suspended in the air, apprehension filled us as if we’re about to get either the best or worst news for the day. When the coin reached the table, it revealed the shiny seal of the Bangko Sentral ng Pilipinas indicating tails. The coin told us that not everyone could pass the 2011 board exams. Everyone went ballistic. As if by reflex, reached for the coin all at the same time, attempting to toss it again, now with a greater and stronger stand for a show of heads.
It isn’t the coin that answers our confusions or clears our doubts, since the moment it is still in the air, we begin to drastically weigh the options and pick unaware the one that we unconsciously and sincerely would like to have. Since the coin initially told us that not all could pass the 2011 board exams, we reacted and tossed the coin again until it shows the shiny head of Jose Rizal. We then have established our choice; we have firmed to conscious awareness what we do like to have and that is to have a 100% passing rate.
We will still pick up the last straw. We will still have the final say. And we must do so in order to move on.
I had my own share of ambivalences, confusion and caught-in-the-middle scenarios. The war between the tingling urge to start a conversation via SMS and the anxiety while sitting and reviewing under a night lamp for tomorrow’s long exam. The battle between a true or false, an a or b, and a yes or no. These clog up toward yet another delirium; whether you’ll be able to pass or fail the test. The manner of acquiring the decision isn’t important as long as the decision is made and such decision is reflective of the person’s sincere and true desires.
Coins, cards, and magic 8 balls, these are mere lifeless forms that are nowhere near making our decision. In the end the one who will actually make and carry out the decision is our very selves. Still, I recommend tossing of coins when faced with a diverse set of options. Since the very moment the coin is suspended in the air, I am sure that there will be one choice that has even just the slightest inclination, setting it apart from a dizzying set of options.
Notice the very moment you screamed yes or moaned a sour no after the result of a coin toss. This only indicates you already have chosen, you already have taken side. You smile to a mutual outcome. It simply shows you simply tossed the coin to see if the coin thinks the same way. Some may even desperately try to obtain an outcome synonymous to her own perception. When the coin lands on tails or heads, it can be attributed to either the quality of the coin, the height of the toss or the air resistance, but never through your initiative.
A text message says, “Let’s toss a coin, if it’s heads we’ll be best friends forever and if it is tails, we’ll flip again.” The tossing of the coin seems to be just another anxiety provoking activity, since the friendship was already established no matter what.
Confused?
Toss a coin and watch it flip in the air.
The side of the coin you’re more in favor of is your unconscious self’s way of saying that it is what you truly like.
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