AS SEEN ON TV
Emotional rehab
My ANC co anchor Lia Andanar Yu brings up an observation that the Ondoy tragedy has been a stressful experience even to those who were not directly affected by the killer floods. Volunteers, rescuers, the media and even the others viewing the images of the flood and its victims on television in drier parts of the country cannot help but feel affected by the intense devastation and hopelessness.
One cannot really tune out of the tragedy wrought by Typhoon Ondoy. After long days (extending into weeks) of covering the event and the ensuing relief operations, journalists, rescue workers and relief volunteers are tired and emotionally drained. They go home to their families or friends who may also be victims. The stories are endless and the sharing of experiences may continue to be told into the coming months.
Relief and other forms of material assistance can help victims cope with the tragedy and put them back on their feet. Homes and other material possessions lost in the floods will be rehabilitated and regained in time. But the deeper scars brought about by traumatic experiences, guilt, anger, depression and desperation may take longer to heal.
More than any other time, this is the moment when friends who are compassionate are much needed. Kind words and listening ears help ease the pain, especially of those who lost loved ones.
On the set of the ANC Special on Typhoons Ondoy and Pepeng, Clinical Psychologist, Dr. Violeta Bautista said being upset (to say the least) is a normal reaction shared by many, when facing extra ordinary, traumatic events.
“That’s why it is important for victims to talk about their experiences to family, friends and counselors. Talking will help ease the pain and is the first step towards coming to terms with one’s loss,” Bautista said.
Sharing experiences is already a form of debriefing. “And everyone must undergo debriefing, not just the victims. Relief workers, witnesses, journalists, soldiers and policemen”, Bautista added.
These people absorb so much negativity in evacuation centers that they too, need to release pent up emotions by talking about what they’ve seen, how they feel about their experience and how it has affected them.
Bautista however cautions friends of victims against mishandling these debriefing or sharing sessions and offers tips to those who are consoling the victims:
NEVER ASSUME EVERYTHING IS OKAY. Filipinos are resilient and may tend to keep their emotions to themselves. Dr. Bautista said the challenge for consolers is bring grief out in the open, and encourage victims not just to talk about their experience but to ask them how they feel about it.
DO NOT TRIVIALIZE ONE’S EXPERIENCES. It is a common practice for many Filipinos to try to ease the pain of others by saying the usual words of consolation, such as “It’s God’s will so let’s accept it”, or “What can you do, it’s fate so face it” or the classic “I know how you feel”. Dr. Bautista says it is better to refrain from making insensitive side comments and just let the victim open up.
DO NOT ATTEMPT TO HUMOR THE SITUATION. Although many Filipinos use humor to escape from harsh realities, attempting to find humor not only trivializes a traumatic experience. It can also offend others who may find the joke tasteless and ill-timed.
DO NOT PROCESS THE EXPERIENCE IN BEHALF OF THE VICTIM. Allow the victim to make sense of his traumatic encounter. A counselor may only provide perspective on the situation if the victim asks for it.
BE ON THE LOOKOUT FOR COMPLEX EMOTIONS SUCH AS GRIEF WITH GUILT. A lot of Typhoon Ondoy victims who lost loved ones blame themselves for failing to save those who died.
BE WARY OF POST TRAUMATIC STRESS DISORDER OR PTSD. Dr. Bautista describes PTSD as a condition where traumatic experiences cause victims to shut down, wallow in severe depression and get affected by the events for prolonged periods of time. “Sometimes, it takes months after symptoms of PTSD will manifest so it really pays to undergo debriefing or talk about the experience to stop the onset of PTSD”, she added.
Tragedies such as Typhoon Ondoy open opportunities for us to know ourselves better, how we face trials and how we help others in distress by being human and humane.
If anything, Typhoon Ondoy gave us a chance to take stock of what’s really important in life.