AS SEEN ON TV
Are you ready to die?
Men see life in this simple progression: sex, relationship, marriage, children, and death. That’s why many remain immature and fear commitment. To delay death.
Kidding aside, I think death really scares men.
We pray to live well into our 80’s, a blessing in a world where stress rules, unless one is vice-free (and does not ride motorcycles).
But Indian novelist Arhundati Roy in her book, “The God of Small Things” sets not at 80 but at about 30 years old, the “Die-able Age” of man. She defines “Die-able Age” as a point when one has seen what life has to offer. More or less.
If you really think about it, 30 is still conservative. The army thinks 18 is the right age to fight war, or die in it. In a sinking ship with few life boats, anyone who’s not a woman or a child is doomed. Where valor and chivalry count, death comes with gender bias.
But war (and the Titanic) aside, I set the die-able age to 40. By then, one has a career or a family or a semblance of both. Lucky Michael Jackson, his death is considered “untimely” at 50, because the world needed him alive longer. We ordinary people are expected to make simple contributions to humanity by 40.
In my 40-something circles, death is common a possibility as receding hair line, beer belly, and panting. Signs like elevated blood sugar or diminishing sex appeal show up at 40. It is our body’s way of letting us know it needs a tune up from years of abuse.
And like a car running to its 80,000th kilometer, the warranties are voided. Health will not stay “at the pink” (not without effort) and fleeting meaty pleasures make a stubborn bulge on the hip!
Over time, everyone just gets old and bloated so drastic lifestyle changes need to be made, like eating healthier or hitting the gym. Aside from weights, men should also load up on positive thinking like women who are more optimistic with ageing. That may be why they live longer too.
Women chirp, “Age is just a number”, or “40 is the new 30”, or “Life begins at 40”! Their mantra: Age Gracefully!
Although grace is something that cannot be expected of men (let alone older men), we can learn a thing or two about ageing from women (sans the face creams and Botox). They tell us to see life beyond the die-able age where we can thrive (in golf course greens, not memorial park greens).
By 40 our identity is (somewhat) defined, yet we’re still young enough to learn new things. And with the promotion and the raise? We now have the time (and maybe the means) to pursue other humble dreams like flying a plane, conquering Mount Everest or buying a new SUV (all 3 easier to achieve than 6-pack abs at this age, trust me).
We may have lost a little youth but our optimism is stronger than ever, that future challenges will be met because we survived life’s earlier trials!
For those with families, the 40’s is an exciting time to see children grow up. Relationships are also (way) past the 7-year itch, hence we stay in marriages held by stronger bonds (than physical, which causes the panting).
I used to think that being 40 is old and “uncool”. Now I am 40. With signs of physical ageing. But part of me still wants to dabble in the next generation (and wear their low waist pants too if not for these love handles that only a higher waist line can conceal).
Love handles, frown lines and the graying (or vanishing) hair are not signs of impending death. They just tell us that we are in a die-able age so we should take care of ourselves better for the sake of our next 40 years!
For it is in reaching the die-able age, that life becomes live-able!
