Impulses
Jingles, jokes, twits, and texts
About six years ago, FPJ has been the butt of jokes being sent through SMS. Erap was similarly roasted in 1998 but ended up becoming president by one of the largest margins in Philippine history.
Internet and cp texts, jingles, blogs, twits, and short jokes are somehow social barometers in the country, underscoring people’s political disposition or the lack of it. With no offense really meant, today’s column will publish familiar and new punch lines and wisecracks as it aims to earn some smiles and maybe, to espouse a more progressive and inquiring mind, from the readers.
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On the issue of presidential theft and corruption:
Noynoy Aquino: Hindi ako magnanakaw.
Gibo Teodoro: Hindi ko kailangang magnakaw.
Dick Gordon and Bayani Fernando: Bawal magnakaw; nakamamatay.
Manny Villar: Di na ako magnanakaw.
Erap: Feel ko uling magnakaw.
GMA: Beeh. Wala na kayong mananakaw (Naubos na niya!)
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Bakit daw di kasundo ni Br. Eli Soriano si Manny Villar? Kasi tinalikuran ni Manny ang dating daan!
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Ano ang similarity ni Jason Ivler at ni Manny Villar? Pareho silang may ‘road rage’.
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Villar is Tondo Boy. Gibo is loverboy. Noynoy is Mama’s boy. Erap is kanto boy. Gordon is Amboy. Eddie V is altar boy, and Jamby is If I were a boy.
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“Villar: Sipag at Tiyaga; Gibo: Galing at Talino; Noynoy: Mama at Papa”
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It has been estimated there are 60 versions of Manny’s campaign jingle including a Japanese translation. I’m not sure if this number includes versions meant to spoof and bash him, like this one:
Nakaligo ka na ba sa pera na marami?
Nakapagchongki ka na ba sa gitna ng kalsada?
‘Yan ang tanong namin
Tunay ka bang isa sa amin?
Nalaman mo na bang mapapag-rugby ka niya?
Tutulungan tayo para maging sindikato
At ang kanyang plano ay magnakaw tayo
Si Villar ang tunay na pahirap
Si Villar ang tunay na malaki kita
Si Villar ang may kakayahang gumawa ng sariling sugalan
Si Manny Villar ang maghahakot ng ating kayamanan
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Here’s another version:
“Nakaligo ka na ba sa dagat ng kubeta?
Nakapag chongke ka na ba sa gitna ng kalsada?
‘Yan ang tanong namin
Tunay ka bang isa sa amin?
Nalaman mo na bang mapapag-rugby ka niya?
Tutulungan tayo para maging sindikato
At ang kanyang plano ay magnakaw tayo
Si Villar ang tunay na pahirap
Si Villar ang tunay na walang gilagid
Si Villar ang may kakayahang
Gumawa ng sariling sugalan
Si Manny Villar
ang maghahakot ng ating kayamanan.”
* * *
Noynoy has been poked for his lack of experience: “Bata pa siguro; ngayon lang tinutubuan ng buhok.”
* * *
On Manny Villar: Why was Dolphy chosen for the Manny Villar ad? Does it mean everything Villar says in the campaign is just a joke?
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Quite over the top is this Manny equation: “Man + Evil + Liar = ManE viLiar
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A somewhat obscure take is:
Kung may Erap, may ginawa.
NOY retreat NOY surrender.
No Manny, no honey.
GIBO peace a chance.
* * *
Three candidates in a recent presidential forum: “Brother Eddie, it’s a debate, not a sermon. JC dehins, ka na; pampasikip ka lang eh. Erap please attend; we need comic relief”
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Despite all the problems in culture, politics or in economy, laughter is always there for our refuge. It is a very effective medicine.
While we take our elections seriously, we love to laugh at the candidates and at ourselves. And it is a test of the candidate’s mettle how they respond to the jokes cracked at their expense.
* * *
Dumalaw si GMA sa Mental Hospital.
Doc: (Sigaw sa mga pasyente) Let’s welcome President Arroyo!
Pumalakpak lahat ang mga pasyente maliban sa isa na nasa sulok.
GMA: Doc: bakit ‘yung isa, hindi pumalakpak?
Doc: Magaling na po siya!
* * *
These are the things that have happened in the past weeks:
Automated election failure
Overstated number of registered voters, multiple registrations
Power supply and brownouts
Appointment of new and GMA-super loyal AFP chief
Giving GMA the power to appoint the new supreme court chief justice
Gilbert Teodoro, Lakas-Kampi-CMD standard bearer’s suspicious’ drop in ad spending
Accusation that Villar, Aquino, and Estrada may be disqualified from election due to violating the law on election ad spending
I can smell GMA’s stench in all these developments. And I think this is serious.
(Engr. Herman Lagon, who “Facebookly” describes himself as a “social scientist,” is a physics teacher and a PhD. student in Math. He may be reached through h_lagon@yahoo.com.)
