YOUNG VOICE
Lola Nice
“Miss Nice, ikaw naman mapatulog karon sa akon? (Miss Nice, will you be the one to put me to bed later?)”.
The 91-year old lady must have forgotten my name again. But I was glad she remembered that for several days, I was the one putting her to sleep. “Huo, Lola. Tapos ko sibin sa imo. (Yes, Lola. After I give you a sponge bath),” I replied.
“Sibin man? Nuebe ko ya. Sibin plus two equals nuebe.” She was suffering from Senile Dementia but was still able to crack up a joke. She is Lola Nice, a six-year resident of Asilo de Molo and the older person assigned to my care in my Gerontology Nursing. She is bound to a wheelchair and needs assistance in almost all of her daily routines. Although she is suffering from disorientation to time and place and poor short-term memory, she speaks fluent Spanish. Muy bien in Español.
Just like most of the residents in Asilo de Molo, Lola Nice was abandoned by her family. I felt pity for her during the time that I am taking care of her. Aging is already turbulent enough. Spending it alone makes the process more difficult than dying.
According to Erik Erikson, aging can either prize the older person with ego-integrity or torture him or her with despair. Ego-integrity if one believes one had lived life to the fullest. Despair if one condemns the most part of it as useless and unsatisfying. But even if the older person develops ego-integrity, that person can’t escape the effects of aging.
At some point, our skin will wrinkle, our vision and hearing will become duller, our strength and stamina will deplete and no anti-aging cream, exercise program or sensory aid can hinder the process. We will feel worthless as our incapacity turn us to be dependent on others.
Assisting her in meal time involves reminding her to chew the food well to prevent choking, removing bones from fish and slicing the banana into smaller cuts. At 5:30, Lola Nice requests to be brought outside in the activity hall to watch television. At 6:00, I will fold my slacks up to my knees, change my black duty shoes into a pair of rubber slippers and prepare Lola Nice to take a sponge bath. After several scrubs and wiping poop from her behind, I’ll dress her up, carry her to the wheelchair, bring her to her room and lay her on the bed. My cramping back wanted to give up, but upon seeing Lola Nice smile, touch my face with her wrinkly hand and say, “Ms. Nice how good you are, thank you.” It was more effective than any analgesic.
Yes, I admit it is hard to take care of the elderly. It’s hard to wipe poop from the walls of their rooms after they thought it was poster paint. It’s hard to change their soaked diapers without smelling the stench. It’s hard to answer questions they’ve asked for about twenty times already. But when you think about how your Lolo toiled your farmland for it to become fertile and abound in crops, how your Lola embroidered day and night to send your mother to med school, you will realize changing their diapers and pushing their wheelchairs are easier to do.
Respect our elders, they deserve that. I am appalled by seeing less and less youth kissing the hands of their grandparents at 6:00 in the evening. What’s less than a minute of giving respect to your lolo and lola when you can spend several hours online tagging photos on Facebook.
I am shocked at how many families send their elderly to institutions with the reason of being “pabigat”. And there you are, joining other charity events, while your elders are at the generosity of other strangers. They need more than your monthly supply of diapers and Ensure Plus. They need you to hold their trembling and wrinkled hands while telling them you’re going to be around.
It was my last night putting Lola Nice to sleep. I knew she understood we might never see each other again. She held my hand tighter than she used to. “Ms. Nice, ano gani ngalan mo ah?” (Ms. Nice, what’s your name again?) “Reylan, La.” “Ah, Reylan. You will always be included in my prayers. Te amo mi bonita and muchos gracias ” (I love you my pretty one and Thank You).
No, Lola Nice. Thank you for showing me that growing old can be fun. Thank you for reminding me that we all need someone to be with as we lose teeth and grow bald.
Muchos gracias mi bonita.
(Reactions to reylangarcia@yahoo.com)
