ACCENTS
‘A consummation devoutly to be wished’
I have devoted the past three columns on the overpopulation problem in the country. To conclude this advocacy on population control, I’m retrieving hereunder my column of three years ago, hoping that next year’s World Population Day, July 11, will be significantly observed and result in vigorous efforts toward curbing population growth. Read on:
My friend Devan (not her real name) said that at the peak of orgasmic heights, tears would well up in her eyes as she thanks a Divine Power for the supreme happiness she is experiencing. That, I told her, quoting William Shakespeare, is “a consummation devoutly to be wished.”
Shakespeare’s quotes are so universal in their depiction of the human condition that they’ve been used in many a literary work, given individual interpretations as I’m now doing on the above. Hamlet ponders on a consummation of a wish odd and creepy: a never-ending sleep fraught with dreams plausible and implausible limited only by his imagination. In the case of my friend Devan, consummation is something akin to entering the pearly gates – when lo and behold, every fiber of her being is suffused with heavenly splendor! Like seeing the face of God as Victor Hugo would have it in Les Miserables. Such is the wonder of consummation in a happy married life.
But consummation is tarnished, flawed, unfulfilling because of fear, or more likely, because of apprehensions, anxiety, misgivings. First and foremost is the fear of pregnancy by the couple, whether married or unmarried. An unwanted pregnancy causes a lot of headaches that a boy and girl, or man and woman are hard put to cope with. In the case of stolen moments, the cheats fear being found out or, at worst, they could be objects of a karmic blackmail.
Eve Ensler in her award-winning play, The Vagina Monologues, speaks of woman’s “spiritual energy” from whence springs “spiritual fulfillment.” The New York Times has reviewed the play that toured the world (it was shown in Manila) as “a celebration of women’s sexuality and a condemnation of its violation.” But I digress. Enough that spiritual fulfillment in the love act is a consummation devoutly to be wished. A consummation within reach with the use of contraceptives – no apprehensions, no anxiety, no misgivings as to the nightmare of an unwanted pregnancy. Add a hefty serving of respect for each other, top that with a strong sense of responsibility, and spiritual fulfillment is made richer.
Responsibility was absent in the case of a young couple in our town. They could have avoided untoward consequences, enjoying wedded bliss with the use of contraceptives. A fourth year Nursing student, the young man is now a father of a toddler. He cannot feed himself, much less his child. His wife is a full-fledged nurse preparing for the CGFNS qualifying exam. When she does make it, a job abroad is a certainty. Add one more story in the statistics of families torn apart by economic pressure. Their parents can only sigh. If only their children didn’t bear a child…
But who can douse emotions? Who can stop true love when soulmate meets soulmate? From the vantage of my own personal history, my answer is a big NO. Only saints can build a dam against the overflow of emotions. He is every young man and she is every young woman to whom love’s consummation is devoutly to be wished. Think Romeo and Juliet, and the rest of the love-struck.
The parents of the young couple must now bear the burden of the basics: feeding, clothing, and sheltering the grandkid – nurturing with all the love and care they can possibly afford to give. Life is precious once it is given to us. Hence, suffer the strain and drain on the household budget. Survive and scrimp to the limit. Refuse to be overwhelmed even as the burden gets heavier and heavier. If only their children didn’t bear a child… which was preventable. Thus is my raison d’être for writing: use contraceptives when you’re not ready to reap the fruits of your toil, so to speak. Many other young couples like the one in our town could have availed themselves of wide-ranging birth control methods from the Population Commission.
That’s why we are all for former Secretary of Health, then Senator Juan Flavier’s birth control program. All the way – including the condom, the pill, and other forms of contraceptives. Yes, regardless of the Church’s opposition against all forms of artificial birth control. Say, why not the rhythm method as supported by the Church? Agreed, but we know how unreliable it is in controlling birth. (Let it be said that I put my thumbs down on abortifacients that kill the fetus. Contraceptives, yes, but once fertilization and conception occur, I put my thumbs down. Let the fetus be, and abortion should be resorted to only if the mother’s life is endangered by the pregnancy.)
The best Health Secretary that ever was, Dr. Flavier ran for senator unmindful of the public’s clamor for him to stay put in the Department of Health. The cry in the media was “Don’t DOH it!” – i.e., for Flavier not to run for senator. But to our dismay, Mr. Condom, as he was then called, did it, and we saw his lackluster performance in the Senate in the company of other square pegs. I’ve digressed long enough.
To the love-struck, I say, fear not. Banish apprehensions, anxiety, misgivings. Consult your doctor. Go, get help from POPCOM. Soar to orgasmic heights. It is a consummation devoutly to be wished.
Email: lagoc@hargray.com
