Impulses
Divorce, why not?
Last of Two Parts
Divorce also peeks in the present Family Code. Hiding from the cloak of annulment of marriage under Article 36, “divorce” can be appealed if there is enough psychological ground for it. With this, the logic of the anti-divorce people saying that it is unconstitutional is quite out of sync. They may be misinformed, to say the least.
Clearly, there is no prohibition in the Constitution against the legalization of divorce. In the first place, the state law should not discriminate and prefer one religious or any sectarian belief against another. Sometimes one is tempted to ask, why is it that the rest of the world churches are just so cool and tolerant with divorce but ours are not?
Some may argue that the existence of annulment and legal separation makes divorce unnecessary. I beg to disagree. In the Philippines, the psychological ground for annulment is lesser and costlier than divorce. It’s easier to get a divorce in other countries where the rules are more relaxed than the present law. In effect we have “semi-divorce,” but, sad to say, only the rich can afford to have it in the guise of annulment. In fact, a fraternity brother of mine who is now a lawyer has told me that it takes P200,000 minimum just for a case to reach the high courts. Poor couples in droves instead resort to adultery or bigamy, or worse, they live beyond legal, yet socially accepted, marital standards. Not even their own holier-than-thou churches can stop, retard, or punish them from “sinning.”
Thus again I say that divorce is a logical option and likely potion for incorrigible marital relationships and to solve social anomalies. Many want, more so, need it. Surprisingly a great number (most of them even have not read House Bill 1799 yet) despise it, hence to believe that we are a nation of confused, presumptuous “intellectuals” is an understatement.
Why prolong the agony of a couple if they find married life hellish? Why continue the marital paroxysm if their union has become tantamount to a life sentence?
Surely, a perfect, married life is everyone’s dream. Just as much, it is always a feel-nice trance if one finds comfort under the strait-laced anti-divorce position. But we have to accept the fact that there are marriages that are irreparable, like in cases of domestic abuse. If there’s no way for a married couple to get along, it’s an injustice if they are still considered married in the eyes of the people under the law. Why will one force a long warring couple to live together? It will have a more negative impact on the children as they grow. Kids need not live in an atmosphere of hate and deceit. Isn’t it logical to give them a chance, a way out? Isn’t it better to come from a broken home than to live in one?
Ultra-moralists say that people must exert effort to save their marriage. I extremely agree with that. But then again, what if the marriage is without doubt irreparable? What if no amount of prayer sessions, psychiatry counseling, or spiritual directions can fix it anymore? Surely, the ones who are married – not the ones who just over assume that they know what marriage is – can empathize and decide better on what to do next.
Borrowing it from one happily married intellectual Perfecto Yasay, I ask: “Why should we be more pious than The Pontiff?” Why must we act like modern day Pharisees?
It is a choice to accept reality. It is a choice to embrace change. It is a choice to move forward. We have enough reasons to deny the old-fashioned, backward, and slavish anti-divorce advocacy. Like Spartacus, the chain of ignorance and pretenses must be smashed for good at once.
Enough is enough. Give divorce a chance.
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It’s Dame Good Service.
Some of my co-teachers usually ask me: why do I like to dine in Pizza Hut and study in Grand Dame Hotel? The answer is simple: First class, welcoming service. I remember one time I felt bad when a staff of a photocopying company just consciously ignored me when I desperately asked him to Xerox my documents. And just like that, I shifted loyalty, and from then on had my thousands-worth printing and binding jobs to an adjacent, customer-friendly photocopying booth.
I’m now venturing on the same photocopying business. With a smiling face, I am sure that my small and humble project will last for long due to its Grand Dame style of service.
Email: h_lagon@yahoo.com.
