Health Line
Honeymoon Cystitis
FIRST night scene: you’ll always remember— the loving blend of a fierce assault and the sweet surrender. Yes, it is a sticky mixture of honey and cream (“pulut-gata”, indeed, is a luscious dream). Forget the moans and the screams but remember the faces since both are in heavenly places… both in smiles and their grimaces!
But when the morning comes
He smiles; yet the lady frowns in pain while in the toilet. She feels the burning pain and the itch as she urinates and—- oh so frequently— in every five to ten minutes. She has bladder infection my dear (a form of UTI or urinary tract infection) termed Cystitis. “Honeymoon” simply illustrates the E. coli or the coliform bacterium (that was “massaged” or “pushed” into the lady’s urethra (urine exit hole) during the pumping and thumping the night before.
Lady, you are singled out
Not because “Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus” but because your urethra is near Uranus (actually, your anus, the great _ _hole). Men, bless us, ours is farther, courtesy of that hanging member. Lady, in case you do not know (or refuse to know) the urethra is just below the clitoris and few inches in front of the anus. Thus, if you wipe it dry after the pee from back to front instead from front to back, then you, in effect, transfer the anal germs to your vaginal (perchance to urethral) part.
Husband is away
A wife claims she gets Honeymoon cystitis because she does sexual intercourse only when the hubby comes home after weeks or months of being away. Similarly too, if the hubby has an ED (Erectile Dysfunction) who once did it thrice a day then thrice weekly then tries weakly. If luck would have it (hopefully he scores after three months of “rest”) the wife unluckily would have contacted it.
Urinalysis: Number of pus cells
Again, your number is different dear lady. “Females need 5 to 8 pus cells per high power field to be considered as UTI. In males, except for the very young and the very old, any pus cell present especially if with symptoms is considered complicated (either sexually reckless or gay). Therefore, treat!” said Dr. Lyn Gomez, a noted nephrologist, in a medical symposium. A male with complicated UTI needs a culture for treatment guidance on his next infection (this time, E.coli may enjoy the company of: Gonorrrhea, syphilis, even TB and Hepatitis).
The perfect pee!
Of course, proper collection of clean voided urine is a must. For the lady: you have to open the genital labia (lips down there) and hold it while urinating. For the boys, the precaution is only for the uncircumcised: got to pull back the foreskin first before urinating. Best time? When you can provide the most volume of urine. First voided morning urine yields the highest bacterial count. Submit the specimen (collected in midstream) within one hour or it should, otherwise, be refrigerated.
And lead us not…
Cleanliness is still the best, to prevent Honeymoon Cystitis. By all means bathe before the act. Shower together and you even save the water! Urinate before and after sex (but don’t sacrifice the afterglow effects). Keep yourself hydrated because sex, undeniably, is very hot! Be fluid insatiable (I mean the water or juice)! Avoid spermicides and douches for they alter the vaginal mucosal surface paving the way for easy bacterial attachment. If all things fail, of course, abstain from sex! Celibate women have lower incidence of UTI according to studies.
But before you kill me
There’s still a remedy: antibiotics prophylaxis (infection prevention using antibiotics before or after the sex). Studies have shown that Cefuroxime 250 mg once a day can prevent Honeymoon Cystitis (consult your doctor first especially if you’re allergic to penicillins)., Cefuroxime is least harmful to fetus (Who knows? Wow! You might be pregnant with a 45-minute old baby now).
Just can’t stop it!
A question was asked in that symposium: “What if the husband stays for five months?” Of course, you can take it for five months at once a day, if you do it everyday!
Be glad that it can be prevented for many of us just can’t stop it! As what a held-up Asian, while caught in the act and told to stop, said: “Ni male paktay, wak lang hinto!” Translation: “To die is heroic!”
(Ah… Eh… Okay! Actually, please help me translate it).
(Our writer is a member of The Kapisanan ng Mga Brodkasters sa Pilipinas. You can catch Dr. Yap every Sunday morning at Bombo Good Morning Philippines 900 MHz, and Fridays at “Health Line” Wesfardell Budyong Kapihan TV Show with Rexam Laguda simulcast with DYJJ. Saturdays at Pulso sang Banwa with Glenn Beup channel 5 Alto Cable 8 am. Comments are welcome at dryapjr@yahoo.com. Dr. Yap’s book “Joyful Life…& Sex? GO TO HEALTH!” is now available at all National Book Stores outlets nationwide. Email to dryapjr@yahoo.com)
