Accents
The writings on the tomb
I’ve always thought that the words inscribed on a tomb reflect to a great degree the kind of person the dead was in his/her lifetime inasmuch as the inscriptions have something to say on the living who authored or suggested them.
The social setting occupied by the deceased also influences what’s to be written on the epitaph. And of course, the attendant circumstances surrounding the death bear much on the engravings that will rekindle our memory of the one who has gone ahead.
The other day, as I spruced up my mother’s tomb (Cristeta Rivera-Carreon succumbed to breast cancer when she was in her fifties), I was struck by the brevity of what my father (SimplicioCarreon Sr.) had chosen to be written on Nanay’s grave: “Remembrance from her husband and children.” Reflection of the simplicity of the by-gone days, I said to myself.
On my father’s tomb, my sisters and brothers agreed to what I had suggested: “Thank you for your legacy of humanity, humility, and courage – [from] Children, Grandchildren, Great-grandchildren.” Tatay died at age 90.
One of my favorites is on my sister-in-law’s from her family: “Thinking of all the wonderful things you have done and all the love you put into them.”
Four generations in our clan believe how fitting are the words meant for my Aunt Piedad Rivera-Legislador, the clan’s matriarch: “Life is loving, caring, sharing, and giving…” She lived to the full every word of it. We love to reminisce how she would gather us at every conceivable occasion, preparing food galore, and celebrating in the warmth of love of kith and kin.
On my cousin Eddie’s are two simple words heavy with meaning: “Freedom Fighter Edmundo Rivera Legislador.” The name is emblazoned in the Bantayog ng mga Bayani in Quezon City. Toto Eddie is the hero the clan has produced. And so we remember and we sing: “Ang magbuhos ng dugo para sa bayan ay kagitingang hindi malilimutan…”
For my brother Antonio, a FLAG (Free Legal Assistance Group) lawyer, we had lines from a song vibrant with undying optimism: “At the end of the storm, there’s a golden sky and the sweet silver song of the lark…May balangaw pagkatapos sang bagyo.”
In 1995, our tour of Washington, D.C. included a visit to Arlington Cemetery where I took shots of the resting place of the brothers Kennedy. A perpetual flame is on Pres. John F. Kennedy’s grave that carried his remarkable “…Ask not what your country can do for you. But ask what you can do for your country.” Engraved next in verse form is the following:
With a good conscience our only sure reward
With history the final judge of our deeds
Let us go forth to lead the land we love: Asking His blessing
And His help but knowing that here on earth
God’s work must truly be our own.
Robert F. Kennedy, the President’s brother who had been an Attorney General and a Senator and an assassin’s victim like him, had the following culled from his speech:
“It is from numberless diverse acts of courage and belief that human history is shaped. Each time a man stands up for an ideal and acts to improve the lot of others or strikes out against injustice, he sends forth a tiny ripple of hope and crossing each other from a million different centers of energy and daring, those ripples build a current that can sweep down the mightiest walls of oppression and resistance.”
On another stone slab, side by side with the above, are passages from another speech:
“Aeschylus wrote: In our sleep, pain that cannot forget falls drop by drop upon the heart and in our despair against our will comes wisdom through the awful grace of God.
“What we need in the United States is not division. What we need in the United States is not hatred. What we need in the United States is not violence or lawlessness but love and wisdom and compassion toward one another and a feeling of justice toward those who still suffer within our country whether they be white or they be black. Let us dedicate ourselves to what the Greek wrote so many years ago: To tame the savageness of man and make gentle the life of this world. Let us dedicate ourselves to that and say a prayer for our country and our people.”
Put Philippines in place of the United States, and Robert F. Kennedy’s words will apply.*
Email: lagoc@hargray.com
