Accents
“Speak it still once again.”
Sometimes I like to start with the ending of an article I write. For instance, the title above is also the ending of this column. What is it that’s worth beginning and ending? Worth speaking again? Saving for last? Because it could be a resolution for the New Year as well as for every year thereafter – the kind that engulfs one in gentle rest and light-heartedness with cares momentarily suspended. You bask in the warmth of the message and you continue with your merry ways humming a fragment of a song. I call these messages, as in the other half of this column, nuggets of humanness.
Savor the foregoing intro as I switch topics to where you and I can amble in the ins and outs of the “forward” game of e-mailing – the frivolity, the inconsequence, and triviality of it all. Of course, there are exceptions – those e-mails that delight and tickle your funny bone. Or those that provoke thought and challenge your brain power.
Sharing here what my son-in-law Timothy has forwarded, an e-mail that he thought was a “forward” to end all “forwards.” Like me, he gets a surfeit of forwarded messages and consigns them to oblivion with a split-second hit at the delete button. Written by a certain Karen, The “Forward” Game affirms the inanities of forwarded e-mails that put you on a psychological blackmail. If you leave said e-mails unforwarded to ten or so other people, leaving it stale on your Inbox or deleting it pronto, great misfortune will befall you, not to mention eternal damnation. If you forward the e-mail as instructed within ten minutes upon receipt, Lady Luck would come a-visiting – you’re even a prospective winner of lotto’s mega millions.
Cyber addicts who have all the time on their hands get a thrill in the rounds of receiving-and-sending these “Please forward” e-mails. Here’s Karen who wishes to end the “forward” game:
As another year will shortly be a memory, my heartfelt appreciation goes out to all of you who have taken the time and trouble to send me “forwards” over the past 12 months. Thank you for making me feel safe, secure, blessed, and wealthy.
Special thanks to whoever sent me the one about rat crap in the glue on envelopes ’cause I now have to go get a wet towel every time I need to seal an envelope.
Also, I scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason. Because of your concern, I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.
I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.
I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.
I no longer go to shopping malls because someone might drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.
I no longer receive packages from, nor send packages by UPS or FedEx, since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.
I no longer answer the phone, because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore, and Uzbekistan.
I no longer eat KFC, because their “chickens” are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.
I no longer have any sneakers – but that will change once I receive my free replacement pair from Nike.
I no longer worry about my soul, because at last count I have 363,214 angels looking out for me.
Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers my prayers if I forward an email to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.
I no longer have any saving because I gave it to a sick girl who is about to die in the hospital (for the 1,387,258th time)
I no longer have any money at all–but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special email program.
Whew-w-w-w, ‘nuff already!
* * * *
And now, let me salute the unknown author who wrote this short piece titled THIS YEAR. It was printed in Brighter Day, a consumer flyer I picked up in a department store in Uncle Sam country. Nuggets of humanness for you and me to breathe life into, to keep alive throughout the incoming year and every year thereafter:
Mend a quarrel. Seek out a forgotten friend. Dismiss suspicion, and replace it with trust. Write a love letter. Share some treasure. Give a soft answer. Encourage youth. Manifest your loyalty in work and deed. Keep a promise. Find the time. Forgo a grudge. Forgive an enemy. Listen. Apologize if you were wrong. Try to understand. Flout envy. Examine your demands on others. Think first of someone else. Appreciate. Be kind; be gentle. Laugh a little. Laugh a little more. Deserve confidence. Take up arms against malice. Decry complacency. Express your gratitude. Have faith. Welcome a stranger. Gladden the heart of a child. Take pleasure in the beauty and wonder of the earth. Speak your love. Speak it again. Speak it still once again.
Now, don’t you think that’s worth forwarding, too?
Email: lagoc@hargray.com
