BRIDGING THE GAP
Ilonggo traditional courtship and wedding rites (1)
June is obviously the most popular month for weddings, judging from the publicity and news reports on marital unions during this period. What comes to mind, expectedly, are the more modern aspects involved in these ceremonies. Thus, it may be interesting to also take a look at what was the practice of the Ilonggos in the past.
Iloilo and the rest of Western Visayas for that matter, can boast of a rich and colorful tradition in courtship and wedding. These so-called old beliefs and practices developed during the pre-colonial times. With the coming of the Spaniards and the American colonial masters, due to the process of Westernization, some elements of the Ilonggo traditional courtship and wedding ceremonies had been put into oblivion. Nevertheless, a substantial body of these beliefs and practices has remained up to this day.
The initial step in any marriage arrangement during the pre-colonial period and even up to the present in some remote areas of Panay is the pabagti. The pabagti or pabati-bati is "testing the water", initiated by the family of the boy, trying to find out whether the girl has been engaged to somebody already or whether her parents are willing to wed her off. This is done by a kagon or go-between, usually a prominent or well-respected individual in the community or anyone of the boy's parents, if bold enough.
If the response was positive, preparations were then made for the pamalaye or pabalayon. Again, this was an initiative coming from the boy's family which in effect would indicate the seriousness on their part to push through the wedding. Here, after informing the girl's family several days or even weeks before, the members of the boy's family troop to the girl's residence bringing along foods and drinks. Together with the family would come the kagon to cement the negotiations.
During the pamalaye, negotiations are made, especially with regards to the bride price called buyag that usually, in the past, consisted of land, gold and slaves if the contracting parties are prominent ones. For the timawa class or freemen, what was generally demanded was a house or a piece of land. Together with the buyag was the himaraw, payable in gold or in land. The himaraw was a compensation for the mother for all the sleepless night lost while the bride was an infant.
In the event that the boy's family cannot give the required buyag, a pangagad, or servitude may be resorted to. Pangagad involves the serving of the boy in the household of the girl doing chores like chopping firewood, fetching water, helping in the farm, doing house repairs, etc. This usually lasts for months or even a year.
After all the requirement s for marriage have been satisfied either through the buyag or the pangagad, or the combination of the two, the contracting parties now decide on the appropriate date and place, the officiating person, and the witnesses. The preferred months for weddings before the coming of the colonial powers were those during or after harvest, that is, September to December. These months were later on replaced by May and June as the favorite months for wedding celebrations.
Apparently, May as a favorite month was an influence of the Spanish occupation being the time when the Flores de Mayo, Santacruzan and patronal fiestas take center stage. June, on the other hand, is an enduring American influence, despite its impracticability to the Filipinos' harvest cycle. As to the appropriate day, any day except Tuesdays and Fridays was agreeable in pre-colonial times. Tuesdays and Fridays were/are believed to be the days when evil spirits would be roaming around to harm people. With the advent of Christianity, Saturdays and Sundays became the preference.
As to the officiating person, the most preferred in pre-colonial and colonial tomes was the babaylan because of the belief in his supernatural abilities and his dominant position in the community. In the absence of the babaylan who may also be the datu, a respected elderly may be asked to officiate. The witnesses, on the other hand, were usually the elder members of the family and of the community.
(To be continued).