Cerebral Combustion
Oprah's wise counsel about men
I define man as walking male genitalia--breathing with life, pulsating with enthusiasm, throbbing in anticipation and pleasure in the name of vanity, hubris and narcissism disguised under the pretense of, interestingly, love. When driven with the splendor of beauty, they morph into cunning creatures hunting hapless preys like undomesticated predators with their guns under their pants poking to each who is vulnerably fooled by cheap intercourse of words and exaggerated flaunting of affection. Some are so good, victims commit suicide. Although such tragic circumstance rarely happens, reality is and a few good ones exempted, men are viciously vile entities yanking horns of egoistic charm to perfection. In relationships particularly. Or in such stages en route to commitment and exchanging vows.
There had been amorous circumstances I used to have in the past when I was much younger which lambasted my emotional and social well-being due to certain reasons to which purposes served me shamefully wrong. Suffice to say that the lesson learned was good enough to move on, the pain unmistakenly left a blotch of stain on my perspective about anything pertaining to men and committing to any man. Sure, the cheap thrills of engaging in a lovelorn dependency and reliance to one particular human being causes overwhelming physical and emotional confidence, but while still unripe for unprecedented effects of immaturity and unmet expectations, the encounter with the predator itself becomes your stain. To me it happened once, twice, until I was wise enough to know better. Women who had been hurt never become fools again. At least some.
Whoever you are involve with or whatever state you are in at the moment, let me share with you what Oprah, yes, the quintessential queen of talk, has to say about men. If anything, this may help change your mind over certain matters which may have confused you or is still in a confusion or is haunted by swarm of questions about the alpha subject we women love to hurt ourselves for.
Here's what she wrote: If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay. Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior. Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache. Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be. Slower is better. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy. If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends". A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend. Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing along, then he probably is. Don't stay because you think "it will get better". You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better. The only person you can control in a relationship is you. Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by bunch of different women. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you differently? Always have your own set of friends separate from his. Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up. Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later. You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within. Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are... even if he has more education or in a better job. Do not make him a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more, nothing less. Never let a man define who you are. Never borrow someone else's man. If he cheated on her, he'll cheat on you. A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you. All men are NOT dogs. You should not be the one doing all the bending... compromise is a two way street. You need time to heal between relationships... there is nothing cute about baggage. Deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship. You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you... a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals... look for someone complementary... not supplementary. Dating is fun... even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right. Make him miss you sometimes... when a man knows where you are, and you're always readily available to him, he takes you for granted. Never move into his mother's house. Never co-sign for a man. Do not fully commit to a man who does not give you everything you need. Keep him in your radar but get to know others.
Share this with other women. You may make someone smile or make others rethink their choices and another prepare.
(For comments,reactions and suggestions e-mail me at du_minatrix@yahoo.com)