Immersion (Part 2)
Family 3 has a typical Chinese design house with several rooms outside the main house separated by a courtyard. The mother's working place is what could have been their living room. They do not have running. They have a modified tap. A stainless pail, with a hose as nozzle, glued to the wall and filled with water when the mother washes a customer's hair. The cooking and washing area is one and the same. There is one coal-powered stove that is continuously burning to keep the room warm. Part of the master's bedroom was also the dining area. I was given my student's room that was outside the main house. It was a very modest room and I was given an electric blanket along with 2 other blankets so I would be warm. I was provided 2 thermoses and a basin for washing. I was also given a small basin for peeing at night so I would not have to go out in the cold.
I was shown where I could brush my teeth. (It was at one corner beside the wall of my room). By now I already knew the Chinese bathing practice but to my BIG surprise Family 3 does not have a toilet. When I asked where the toilet was, I was shown a hole at the back of the house. I guess I managed a nervous smile. I sent my son an SMS telling him about it and his reply made me stay in that condition. He said, "Gosh, it makes me more thankful for what I have".
My student's mother is the busiest before the Spring festival. It was her peak season when she could charge 3rmb for a haircut! People came as early as 7 in the morning and as late as 10 in the evening. They had to have a new look by the time New Year came. So my student was always busy helping her mother. I was mostly left to myself wandering in this small town. It was in this little town that I experienced my first public bath. God! I never knew I am a shy person!!!
Family 3 even if they have less in life gave me the best they could offer. They always had rice in every meal I obliged myself to partake of rice in every meal even if I am not so keen on it. I did not want them think I do not like their food and take offense. One afternoon her father came home early from work to make me jiaozi! Her mother, after seeing my white hair, offered to dye my hair despite her busy schedule.
I left Family 3 before Spring festival. I took a bus to Nanjing. Horror of horrors I woke up in Hangzhou!!! No I'm not that ludicrous! I was on the right bus; the drivers just forgot to drop me off in Nanjing! I was frantic and hysterical. Never felt so helpless in my life. I could not understand them and the little Chinese that I know was not working. So they had to buy me another ticket for me to be in Nanjing. It was a very unpleasant trip with the drivers (right under the no smoking sign) smoking all throughout the trip. My sleeper was right behind them.
After traveling for over 24 hours, I got on another bus to get to Family 4. I was so happy to see a familiar and friendly face. First on the agenda was to take me to a public bath. I washed away all the negative energy of the previous day. It was different in this small town. There were ladies who did body scrubs. There was a massage bed and a sauna. I did not use any of them. My student has arranged for them not to take money from me so I did not want him to pay for my worldly pleasures.
I was given the master's bedroom with a queen sized bed and an electric blanket. While his parents stayed in his room on his single bed and him in a small room with a small bed that was mostly used for storing things.
Day before New Year, my student along with a childhood friend and I went to their old houses (they are letting them out) to put up New Year decors of luck and prosperity on the main gate. They showed me the places where they grew up and played.
After which, I joined the family in their reunion lunch for the Spring festival. Paternal grandparents, maternal grandmother and sister of maternal grandmother and her husband were present. There was Chinese wine and baijiu. I was toasting with the grandparents and the parents. But it was only later on that his mother joined us at the table as she was busy in the kitchen. (This was every meal)
After lunch the table was prepared for mahjong. First I just observed if they played the same way we did back home. Then I played with the 3 grannies! It was a good thing we did not play with real money or they would never invite me there again.
At 8 in the evening, we were all in front of the TV watching the CCTV New Year's presentation. I did not really understand much if any at all but sitting there made me feel home. In my mind I kept saying just like at home. At the stroke of midnight, my student and his father went out to light some firecrackers. We greeted each other Happy New Year and went to bed. I slept weeping at how much I missed home.
I was also taken ballroom dancing but this time in the evening. Unlike back home, ballroom dancing in this town was until 9 in the evening. When I get up in the morning, Grandpa rushes to bring me a cup of tea. When I sit with the family to watch TV (even if I have TV in my room) Grandpa would bring out his stocks of snacks from their room.
On my last night, Grandma asked to chat with me (with translator of course). She thanked me for taking care of their grandson in school and asked me to please continue to look after him. My sending away presents were 2 bottles of baijiu, delicacies of the town, his mother insisted that we took some fruits and grandpa filled my pockets with watermelon seeds so I would not be bored during the trip.
The families I stayed with may differ in social strata. They may eat different food. But they eat in the same way, no plates, just chopsticks and a small spoon and everyone digs into the serving platters and bowls. They may have bathrooms but they do not use it for bathing. They may not be privileged in life nor have they acquired a college degree. But they treat guests the same way -- like royalty. Chinese hospitality as I have experienced knows no social strata. The Chinese families will take you and embrace you as their own. Chinese families would let a guest feel the warmth of their hospitality. I may not have seen very interesting sights during my winter vacation but the culture I learned far more interesting than a temple or a garden.