Getting out of the dark pit
"In the difficult are the friendly forces: the hands that work in us."
--Rainier Maria Rilke
Have you ever been in a state where you feel you are in an abyss? I've been through it in several periods of my life and I felt completely overwhelmed to cope with it all. When I'm in those depressed states, I'd experienced a multitude of negative emotions: fear, sadness, anger, frustration and despair. My mind is filled with so many probabilities and possibilities, but I could not even think of a way out because all those negative emotions seem to numb my whole being. The confusing circumstances of my life had changed my outlook that I'm not sure what to do anymore. These struggles are common to almost all of us and we can't just let these things bring us down the drain. We have to believe that even in the most difficult times there are still FRIENDLY FORCES which will work in us. We just have to find these forces and let them move us out of the quagmire we are in.
In my struggles out of several low periods, I'd learned to look for these forces and allow them to work on me.
First and foremost of these friendly forces is GOD and HIS LOVE for us. DIVINE COMMUNICATION with Him is very important and crucial in these down moments. I understand that at these times, we can't even acknowledge GOD'S PRESENCE. HIS LOVE seems to be less real to us. However, we have to force ourselves to recognize this reality and do our best to completely surrender to Him and allow Him to let His Hands work in us. Doing this is the most important step out of the "Darkness" we are in.
If you find it difficult to do this, let this prayer guide you:
"Dear God,
I'm in my lowest point and I'm numb with overwhelming negative emotions. Let me feel your DIVINE PRESENCE. Make me acknowledge YOUR LOVE, which will assure me that you are in the midst of all these. I surrender my life to you and everything that overwhelms me at the moment, which makes it difficult for me to even ask you to let YOUR DIVINE HANDS work in my life right now.
The next friendly force you have to find is YOUR ABILITY TO REFLECT and PINPOINT THE FOCAL POINT or THE REAL PROBLEM, which has put you into this situation. Say them out loud or write them down. Doing these will not make the problems go away but when they are outside of us, they hold us less in their power.
Third is OUR STRENGTH TO BEAR THE PAINS or DIFFICULTIES that our problem gives us. Don't let them close your mind and your heart, which will eventually numb your whole being and disarm you of all the defenses which should have armed you in these battles. Life is a battlefield and GOD has armed us with the best defense mechanisms to cope.
Next is OUR POWER TO LET GO. Let go of all the negative emotions which overwhelm you. These emotions are part of our natural defense system. Even our anger to ourselves and to GOD is natural. He even understands our anger and can take it. We'd acknowledged that we have the strength to bear all these so we have to let go of them and free our minds and hearts of all these negative forces, thus creating a space for negative forces to come in.
The fifth friendly force we have to find is the REALIZATION THAT ALTHOUGH THE WORLD IS FULL OF SUFFERING, IT IS ALSO FULL OF THE OVERCOMING OF IT. Pain and suffering are part of being human and we are experiencing them because we are a part of the human race. However, we must realize that as our lives have been filled with the suffering part of the human condition, we are also filled with other realities of that same condition – the wonder of life, the beauty of nature, the kindness of people and a lot more.
The next friendly force is one of the most perplexing mysteries of Christianity: THE REDEMPTIVE VALUE OF SUFFERING. Maybe you'd asked yourselves these questions: How can it be that suffering can bring about growth? How can it be that being wounded can somehow bring about healing? How can it be that dying can bring about new life?
This reflection by a priest helped me understand the mystery and answered those questions. Ponder on it and I'm sure you will be enlightened.
‘Reflect on the image of a seed buried on the ground. Surrounded by the seeming cold indifference of the earth the seed begins to change, its shell traumatically cracked open. But, from this distress comes the first inklings of new life. And eventually, a plant, filled with beauty and promise emerges, triumphant over the darkness, triumphant over the pain.'
The realization of the value of suffering may not ease the burden of suffering itself; it can only be the beacon of light in the dark confusion that accompanies pain and suffering. The very depths of our distress can bring us insight and grace.
Another important force we have to find is the POWER OF GRATITUDE. Some of the most beautiful words are those which express gratitude. Someone told me that the human spirit is at its best when recognizing the blessings that are all around. Isn't it true that when our minds and hearts are filled with difficulties and we are suffering, we easily forget the good things that continue to surround us? Recognizing all the things for which we can be grateful is a vital tool in keeping our lives balanced. We should not let our pain take too large a possession of our lives, eating our minds and hearts out and even our very souls, leaving us with nothing but grief and misery.
Last but definitely not the least of these forces is our CLOSE RELATIONSHIP TO GOD. When we are overwhelmed with so many difficulties, we feel so alone in our misery; that no one understands what we're feeling. But, of course there is GOD who truly understands us. A pastor likened him to a mother wiping the fevered brow of His child. He is constantly checking in on us. Let Him be your surety when you are uncertain; your joy when you are in sorrow; your clarity when confused and your companion when you are lonely.
A close relationship to GOD is difficult to achieve most especially when we are so down that we cannot even sit down and pray. But we have to move forward in prayer – bit by bit, taking small steps – so that we can inch closer to the God who waits for us.
When we are about to give up on people, on situations, on ourselves and sometimes even on GOD, tap on these friendly forces within us. These will allow us to keep going even when we feel like quitting. GOD WILL BE WITH US WITH EACH SMALL STEP WE TAKE.
There are really undiscovered strong forces in every person which will surely take him out of the dark pit of depression to the light which shines out of that darkness. Discover these forces in you and life will be a lot better.