REFLECTIONs
Helping the kids
Though already at a certain age, I continue to get exposed to young people. My job as school chaplain and my frequent visits to other schools allow me constant contact with them. In a way, these kids make me young, thank God.
Seeing them, especially these days with so many pressures and temptations, always leave me with strong feelings that run through the gamut and to the edges of joy, concern, disappointments, hope, faith. I always have to remind myself to be eternally patient.
Whether they are filthy rich or rat poor, smart or not so smart, whether they realize it or not, all of them need guidance that has to be given in a positive way, always encouraging and practical. It's challenging, can be difficult, but not impossible.
What they most need is to strengthen their faith, their supernatural outlook that has to be firmly grounded on proper doctrine and reliable virtues. They usually don't like if you tell them that directly. But there's no doubt that's what they most need. We should not lose sight of this.
Very crucial in dealing with them is to win their friendship and confidence. This is ticklish, because this requires all sorts of things—time, energy, bottomless talents to adapt to their fast-changing ways, moods, crazes, etc.
I suppose we cannot have everything, but if we just show them sincere and unconditional friendship and affection, that we understand them completely no matter what, that we don't get scandalized by anything and that we will always stand by them, friendship and confidence will just come.
I judge the degree of friendship and confidence achieved not so much by the frequency of our talks but more by the content and quality of the topics brought up.
Of course, ideally it would be good if regular appointments for chats can be made. But do you expect kids to respect schedules? Usually, no. So you have to find a way to run after them without giving them the impression that you are running after them. They resent that.
When they start talking about very personal things, especially about their struggles in holy purity, then that friendship and confidence are already sealed. And, boy, how happy they are when they realize they have someone who listens to them about these things!
People often tell me miracles don't happen anymore these days. My personal view is that listening to these kids, I am convinced I have miracles happening right before my eyes.
My experience has exposed me to a wide range of human situations these kids undergo. When they are still very young and new, their problems are quite simple and often amusing. When they grow older, and start getting exposed to the real world, the challenges become bigger and trickier.
This is when you have to make them understand that you are always available for them. Physical presence and proximity is a must. Nowadays, with the cell phone and other gadgets, this is greatly facilitated.
But you also need to count on the help of others—parents, their peers, teachers, etc. In the school where I work, I regularly give feedback to the staff, dropping hints, suggestions and even corrections, so the kids could be effectively helped.
Since in this aspect you are dealing with more mature and hopefully more responsible people, it's good to be systematic and direct to the point in the ideas, advice or instructions you give them.
It's important that together with the personal dealings, there has to be some structure that routinely gives, for example, classes in Christian doctrine and other collective means of formation. But these should remain subsidiary to the personal dealings.
It's good that everyday, you bring to your prayer the matters and affairs involving these kids. There you see things more objectively, and even the hardest of cases offer many possibilities for hope and optimism.
God never lets you down. Our Lord said: "I will give you a mouth and wisdom, which all your adversaries shall not be able to resist and gainsay." (Lk 21,15) To that, I can only say, Amen.
(Fr. Cimagala is the Chaplain of Center for Industrial Technology and Enterprise (CITE), Talamban, Cebu City. Email: roycimagala@hotmail.com)