Singles and the City
Wedding Chills
Jim on "attending weddings"
A lot of my friends already surrendered their "singledom" and embarked on a new journey in life. They are the ones who have embraced the married life. Yes, they have heard the bells. I'm happy for them. In fact, I have 99% attendance score in all of my friends' weddings. This is one of the most important events of their life and I always make sure I'm there for them. The annoying thing, I guess inevitable in our culture, is the question thrown to singles during these gatherings – when are you getting married? With the follow-up, "you're not getting any younger." Sadly, it sometimes even comes from the newly weds. It's as if they have earned the right to ask that question to the likes of me the minute they stopped being single. At times, I feel being on this stage is like schooling that you'd have to graduate at a specified time. And very much like school, it would be a shame not to finish, that is get married. Should people really look at it that way?
Recently, I'm delighted to have been invited to four different weddings. If computed, these four weddings will occur within 42 days which means I'll be attending a wedding every 10 1/2 days. (Pardon me for computing but I'm an accountant and some of us have this boring habit.) Sigh. That also means four wedding gifts and four "singles" games at the reception. The wedding gift is not a problem but the "singles" game? This is one thing I dread, really. I sometimes think of not going because of that. I remember one wedding I attended with two other single friends of mine. The minute they announced the start of the game, we discreetly stepped out of the hall and went home. Yes it was planned in advance. That's how we hate it. Oh, I also hate the other traditional ceremonies like cutting of the cake and setting the doves free. I think they're corny and too old-fashioned.
Despite the things I hate in weddings, I dream of getting married someday. My wedding will be simple and modern and solemn. No cheesy stuffs. It's just unfortunate (or maybe fortunate, depends on how one views it) that I can't hear the bells yet. But I know I will soon.
Oli on "the benefits of flying solo"
In weddings, twenty-something singles are always being told by an older married couple that we need find a partner and get married to be happy. And while the company of a girlfriend or wife perhaps does have its boons, there are benefits to flying solo as well. Undeniably, the single life is replete with liberties that I could not imagine.
For one, I can just chill and let myself go for a little while than spending more time at the gym. Since I'm not on the "market," I don't have to worry about looking like a "superman" every day. I enjoy the pleasure of occasionally being a slob. Of course, keeping in mind to not go so far that I can't trim down in time for when I decide to join the "market" again.
As a single, I can also use my free time for self-improvement. Being single forces me to cook, do laundry, and clean up "my place" on my own. I never have to worry about paying other's dinner. However, singles must also understand that this does not mean that we will save money -- on the contrary; some of us might be spending more on partying, gadgets, and so on.
I also have no reason to sit around doing nothing. I can go on travel, read a whole novel in one sitting, playing "wii" on weekends. And even push it further and head out on to the usual and unusual tracks. I can even use the time with my friends. After all, isn't neglecting your friends one of the biggest sacrifices of being married?
So during the recent weddings that I attended, I bravely told to those who asked: "in the absence of a relationship, I'll have much more time to devote to my career. I always put in those extra hours on a work project, and even take on something else --- without worrying about sacrificing my love life since I'm single."
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