Accents
Why I googled Mrs. Maria M. Socorro
(Part two on e-mail frauds)
Where before they came from Nigeria, UK, or Africa, this time the scammer is a kababayan: Mrs. Maria M. Socorro. She of the "flawless reputation" wants to make me richer by $2.02 million. She writes well, her errors in mechanics are passable, and she doesn't have the atrocious grammar of many of her ilk in the hacking trade. Hereunder is her letter in toto:
MRS. MARIA M. SOCORRO
CREDIT ACCOUNTS OFFICER
HEAD OFFICE EQUITABLE PCI BANK TWR.
MKT AVENUE. COR.H.V DELA COSTA STR
PHILIPPINES.
Good day,
Let me start by introducing myself, I am MRS. MARIA M. SOCORRO, CREDIT ACCOUNTS OFFICER EQUITABLE PCI BANK. I am writing you this letter based on the latest development at my bank, which I will like to bring to your personal edification. I am writing you this letter with so much joy and excitement even though my heart goes out to the very powerful and distinguished gentleman who I was fortunate to have worked for and extremely privileged to have known for numerous years. I am a top official in charge of client accounts in EQUITABLE PCI BANK inside the Philippines.
The allocation of our money will be as follows: 20%($2.02m) to you for your part in this, 75% for me and my partners and 5% for any unforeseeable expenses we may incur. I think this is extremely fair, as you have nothing to lose but just a little time, while on the other hand I am staking my flawless reputation among other things. And besides $2.02 million is no pocket change. Once you are approved, the entire transaction should take no longer than twelve business days after which we will go about our daily business, but just millions of dollars richer.
Again, I will be in charge of everything else. I will assume all responsibilities for this endeavor so you don't have to worry about any legal ramifications, just what you will do with all that money. Your urgent response is highly anticipated so please email me for more details on this transaction as soon as possible.
This should be kept very secret and confidential? I believe you know. If interested please reply to my personal email address below:
mariasocorro93@excite.com
kind Regards,
MRS. MARIA M. SOCORRO
It is very tempting to reply and give Maria enough rope with which to hang herself. However, she must have anticipated baits and the like, and has therefore set pcautions. Nonetheless, I googled Maria M. Socorro in the web and found the same letter (except that it bears a different e-mail address) under Collection of Email Spam, Email Frauds, and Scam Emails. I just think it behooves Equitable PCI bank to inform the public how impostors make use of its good name. The Socorro e-mail is intact in my computer, thus I had the name brazenly printed. No need to use initials that are safe from untoward libel suits.
Lucrative "job offers" titillate the swelling ranks of the unemployed. They come e-mail after e-mail. The position: business partners or repsentatives to receive payments from their clients. Typical is this letter from Mrs. H.M of London Art, UK: "I greet you in the name of our lord Jesus Christ… All my customers are AMERICANS, and they all want to pay me with Cashier's Check, and it is always very hard from [sic] me to cash the cashier's check here in London because the British Government does not permit the usage of cashier's check. I have so many customers in AMERICA and If you are interested, you will be earning $2,500.00 every week as10% commission as my AMERICAN REpSENTATIVE…" One business proposal posted a cliché: "Nothing ventured, nothing gained." A-ha!
Vying with the "job offers" in crowding my Inbox are the lottery "windfalls." Goes one notification: "This is to notify you that you have won £1,253,000.00 and a Brand new BMW Car in our 2008 BMW Online Promotion Award Programme in which e-mail addresses are picked randomly by computerised balloting, powered by the Internet. Your email address was amongst those chosen for this period." How lucky can I get! The latest was a Honda, cheap for my high taste. Organizers should have chosen my favorite, the million-dollar gas-guzzling Hummer that has incensed environmentalists.
Lastly, this advice: NEVER pay anything up front. Asking for job application fees and payment for the delivery of the "bonanza" are but two ways of embezzlement. Hold on to your money because you will never get a return for it.
(Comments to lagoc@hargray.com)