AS SEEN ON TV
To beat or not to beat
My wife and I were at an exhibit booth for woodcraft in Market Market, Fort Bonifacio when one particular item got my attention among an array of wooden spoons, gravy bowls and wooden kiddie blocks. It was a beating paddle made especially for misbehaving children.
“Yours for P 90.00 only!”
The seller said it’s a small investment for a lifetime reward of raising well-disciplined children. I suppressed a smirk.
How can someone sell something that actually inflicts pain and even cause death if used wrongly? The seller was so nonchalant about it like she was selling world peace!
About a foot and a half long and 3 inches wide, the paddle-like device had beating commandments written on its face.
- Beat with compassion and care (I can’t even begin to imagine how physically and emotionally challenging that would be. It’s just sick. How about a demo?)
- Beat promptly while memory of the offense is fresh (and take advantage of tempers flaring.)…
- Explain the reason why he is being punished (this is where the talent of a true nagger come handy)…
- Beating must not be done in public to avoid humiliation (of course, flesh in black and blue is really better than a bruised esteem)… and
- Beat on the fleshy part of the butt ONLY (thank God, they made that clear!).
On the paddle’s flip side, the adage (in bold, gothic print), “SPARE THE ROD AND SPOIL THE CHILD”.
The world of corporal punishment— professionalized!” When we were growing up, child beating did not have that pedagogy of that paddle’s “user’s manual”.
In my particular case, it was merely a rolled newspaper landing on my behind, more as my parents’ reflex in exasperation over my misdeeds than a conscious intent to inflict pain.
My “kababata” had it worse. His parents used to put him (or any of his 7 other misbehaving brothers and sisters) in a sack and beaten with any object within reach i.e. shoes, rods, sticks, umbrellas, chairs or even ladles (when they mess up with their mother’s cooking). On less severe offenses they would get a plain beating with a belt or slippers. I would not say they grew up to be the most disciplined people because of that. Last time I heard, my “kababata” is still a jobless, 40-something drug addict.
Today, child beating is (still) tolerated in the Philippines than in more developed countries. Child beating here (whether in school or at home) is prevalent in rural areas and slums. In countries like the United States, not as much as laying a hand on a kid (even one’s own) constitutes child abuse and can put one in a serious brush with the law.
That’s why child rights advocates want to address this problem with a legislated solution. House Bill 6699 or the Anti Corporal Punishment Act of 2009 is now being pushed at the House of Representatives to criminalize corporal punishment which is really bordering on child abuse.
On TV we have seen stories about children dying in the hands of parents or teachers. The most recent one elicited outrage among our viewers, a 2 year old toddler beaten to death by his own father for soiling the bed. We have also aired countless other stories on school children dying of internal hemorrhage days after they were punished by school teachers.
It’s no surprise that in the World Studies of Abuse in the Family Environment by the World Health Organization, the Philippines remains a topnotcher in using severe corporal punishment to discipline children. The study says 21% of Filipino children are still hit with objects in various parts of the body, 6% get kicked, 3% are beaten, 1% threatened with a knife (OMG!) and another 1% choked (which clearly does not achieve anything other than death).
For a peace loving nation known for its acute friendliness and chronic hospitality, all these kicking, choking and knifing are contradictory to our reputation to say the least. And we are like this because it’s in our culture. Parents who grew up in a family environment where beating and severe corporal punishment are acceptable, will most likely beat their children to discipline them. Other forms of punishment (such as letting a child kneel on mongo beans or salt) may have abated but the spanking and beating persist. Many parents also have this notion that they can do whatever they please with their own children.
Sometimes when our 3 year old toddler’s mischief puts us at wits end, my wife and I consider “a little spanking” to straighten him out.
“Nothing wrong with that… we’ve had some beating when we were kids and we turned out okay” (we reason).
But we always end up doing otherwise, not only because we love our little angel too much. By not beating, we stop a ruthless culture and raise a child who will someday, not beat his kids in return.