YOUNG VOICE
Start Young
My Nanay shares that in child-rearing, the early stages are the most important
Sigmund Freud, a learned 18th century man in the field of psychology, had a theory that an adult’s behavior is shaped by his childhood experiences. What he was, is what he is and what he will be. What a person practices throughout his lifespan are mirrors of what he once experienced in the past. The same idea was thought of some thousands of years ago by Hippocrates, a Greek scholar. I couldn’t help but imply that for two men who existed in different ages, in varied eras, believed in the same principle of human growth and development. This might have such significance.
My Nanay shares that in child-rearing, the early stages are the most important. She worked full and double-time as a mother to me and my brother. When I was in my toddler years, my Nanay read to me almost every fairytale again and again. Until now, I still could recite with confidence Snow White’s seven dwarves and all of Ariel’s sea-creature friends. She never got tired of guiding my crooked penmanship. She kept the most patience every time I was stubborn and was at the same time firm on discipline. She taught me how to chew my food with a closed mouth, to kiss the hands of the elders at 6:00 in the evening and to not butt in on a conversation without saying excuse me.
Call me conceited, but I will be just presenting the facts. Those countless story telling sessions my Nanay and I had cultivated my imagination and speeded up my ability to read and write. At age three, I could already read three to four letter words and even write my full name taking heed of the red and blue lines. Those scary meetings of my young behind with either the belt or rolled up newspaper taught me to distinguish right from wrong. Her reminders until now are freshly implanted, that I have since then valued respect, honesty and good manners.
I’m not a Freud loyalista or an avid fan of Hippocrates, but I frankly believe in their theory. During childhood, the little ones require the most attention parents could give. This is the only time when their ears are wide open and their minds more absorbent than sponges.
Although they present to be difficult and stubborn, rest assured that they’ll remember. I did.
Although I am not a parent, I know raising up children from their salivating bald and toothless states to their emo-inspired egocentric and rebellious teens could be a rocky ride. But dear parents, those
times when we cried the most and deafened you with tantrums would be the same time when we discretely need your warm hugs and playful kisses. Those times when we would lock ourselves in our rooms, turning out the music to a full blast volume would be the same time when we secretly needed you to give us the peace of mind and a clear understanding of our confusions. These are the times when we become open to changes, for parents to mold us into the ideal persons we ought to become. These are the hidden opportunities.
The best lessons learned in life are taught in pre-school: how to form a straight line and wait for your turn in the canteen, greeting everyone good morning and using please and thank you, not to cheat
during exams, sharing half a sandwich with a classmate who left his baon. Children believe that these should be practiced since these would make them better persons. But when these are not reinforced at home, when these actions and behaviors are contrary to what is seen with the child’s significant others especially the parents, it would be simply stored in the deserted corners of his mind.
Parents would sometimes clamor about how their children would give them such big problems. There goes my daughter, spending every cent of her monthly allowance on the latest branded wardrobe. There goes my son, called once again at the principal’s office after punching the class nerd on his face. Though, we children agree that we become too insensitive and let hormones dominate instead of our common sense, we could not erase from our systems the type of responses and behaviors that were implanted since we were young. We know you’re right parents, but it’s hard to change since it has already rooted deep. If only your reminders were internalized earlier. If only you never got tired of telling us that we should be contented on a five-peso lollipop from a hundred pesos worth of imported chocolate, back when we were younger.
If only you never got tired of reminding that it’s never right to inflict harm on others regardless of reason, back when we were younger.
I urge parents to start young. This is same with talents. Excellent swimmers were trained to love water before they could even spell the word goggles. That may be the source of the saying, it’s hard to teach an old dog new tricks. When we’re already living in our own set of beliefs, it would be hard to integrate your own since what we had believed had enabled us to survive the rages and storms of youth and by these we believe it will still continue to sustain us as it is. I thank my parents for starting to mold me young.
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