Cerebral Combustion
Men strike back
Below are the feedbacks I have received as regards my previous column, Oprah's Wise Counsel About Men which came out last February 21, 2007. By choice, I withhold further of my own personal reactions towards these letters for I believe this is not a debate between sexes but an honest exchange of experiences and opinions which concerns personal and relationship matters. To my readers, I leave the judging to you.
From Mr. Wonderful:
Your article about us men is quite provocative. As I ponder on the contents, I can understand the intense pain you are feeling against men. Surely there are lots of us out there who are the stereotypes, that macho thing who blindly (stupidly) admire the likes of Dolphy, Erap and company. Those who believe by the saying that men are by nature polygamous! What a pity that these men, and there are lots of them walking around like zombies not thinking at all who haplessly prey on little Red Riding Hoods. And the folly of DOM's who think they are still desirable that young women will swarm them. Media has been contributing a great deal to the growth of these cult. They use the titles like "fantasia ng bayan" or "ST queens" to sexually excite us. Can you think of how many women who became overnight millionaires by using their bodies in the print ad. Yes Virginia, there are lots of women who have exploited us too. Some would even venture further, flirting and when they get a man's commitment they reject him or in the worst case consume all his money. Only in the Philippines you will hear the term ,"Desperate Japanese Men," pertaining to Hapons financially bled dry and abandoned by cunning Pinays. Some women use media as sort of a formidable weapon in their arsenal. I know many who are relentless in the pursuit towards the annihilation of us men. A TV/radio personality who for years broadcast to the world against her man. It was horrific to see her on TV with her new man! There are women who dominated us as if they are the authors of our lives. Battered husbands? They don't exist because the law recognizes only battered women. So what do we have here? Simple this is a manifestation of people who see themselves as worthless and will exploit to feel worthy. They will continue to change partners to satisfy themselves and that satisfaction is always temporary.
Imagine the jolt of excitement and fear that is out of proportion when one is in sexual pursuit of a potential prey. This only temporarily blunts an underlying and deeper issue. This is itself a manifestation of the most dreaded thing on earth. The experience of powerlessness! Underneath is the fear to be unloved, alone, unworthy even unattractive! And the pursuit goes on. Others think that a fulfilling life is one who possess wealth and a harem. Or simply having a partner who fulfills an empty life. One who makes your life complete. This notion is not fulfillment at all because we alone are the creators our lives. If we learn to listen to ourselves and see the beauty of the lessons learned from every painful experience. Welcoming the joys and pains of life make our lives meaningful. Becoming aware and committed to change the insecure parts in ourselves is a pathway towards spirituality. No longer do we judge others but to see them like us struggling to achieve their spiritual growth.
It was surprising to read such remarks from Oprah. For a while I had this notion that she is a guru on spiritual growth.
From Pure Shenanigans:
I have had several NSA's (No Strings Attached) in my life, properly classified as "improper relationships" which enjoy certain commodities such as dating, but not exclusively, kissing, petting, and yes, even having sex without remorse, without love, without meaning. The constant pursuit of someone to bed with is not something I do though purely for physical and sexual satisfaction but believe it or not, the availability of women out there who are willing to do the same is really tempting. Who am I to suppress my carnal needs if it is being laid out in front of me? These days it is no longer surprising to find women wanting the same thing and are able to distinguish between guilt free physical contact and emotional harassment. In some circumstances, I would have wanted more. More of her soul, not of her body, but clearly, women have that diminutive dominion over men by playing with our hearts and crushing our egos. I am sure, reading through your articles each week, that your open mindedness does not include the reality that an everyday contact between men and women each day can spark into something else besides love, but can erupt into something like a quickie after a few cans of beer and not remembering names afterwards. It is unfair to stipulate of the fact that women alone are the "hapless Creatures" being preyed by men when it actually happens otherwise. Many times we fall under false impression that we like what we do, but truth is, we do protect ourselves too from the vicious games women play. Despite my constant sexual shenanigans, I do search for a "real relationship" too but it is only good while it lasts. You women, demand and expect a lot that if we cannot give, will turn against us. It is in fact you, who are unsatisfied till the next prey will come along. Mine is not a simple case of "boys will be boys" or "men will always be men" but see, it takes two to tango. I do not take pressure but pleasure and I do not take what is not given.
As for me, as long as there is someone out there, fun and willing, and it feels good, why not?
(For comments, reactions and suggestions e-mail me at du_minatrix@yahoo.com)