Unusual Channel
To 'live in' or not to 'live in'
I will not say that my marriage is perfect. It is not! It has its ups and downs but why think of the "downs" when you can think of the "ups"? No raised eyebrow please, because I know it is easier said than done. However, it helps to think of the "ups" because it validates the need to stay in the marriage and love the other person no matter how the "downs" weighed the "ups" or vice versa.
I read this article about how living-in justifies the intention of getting married eventually. First justification is living-in would allow two people to get to know each other and increases the chances of staying married. Forget that justification because even couples who are married for thirty years or more are still in the get-to-know each other stage, believe it or not. Living-in does not guarantee a 100% proof of knowing your partner. The second justification is that while in a living-in relationship, it will allow the couple to save money for their wedding. I am not saying it is wrong, however, it is hard enough to save money when you’re young regardless of whether you’re married or living together. Most especially it is hard to save when both are independent of each other and there is freedom to pull out of the relationship anytime you want to. Unlike being married, you are likely to plan on how to save money and stick to that plan no matter what. It is so because when married, you are already committed to each other for a long time. If saving for a wedding will take years to do, remember that the wedding ceremony lasts only for one hour or so. One hour ceremony of exchanging vows and exchanging rings and the marriage part takes years to live out those vows and lastly, to come to terms or understand what those rings meant for couples. Research shows that couples who use economics as their rationale for living together before marriage and planning for that wedding, almost never achieve those goals.
As Catholics we are taught to live and breathe the Christian values passed to us by our parents. Living together involves having pre-marital sex and that is not part of those values we are supposed to live and breathe. Nowadays, because of so many influences in our society like the internet, MTV, magazines, mobile phones, etc., it is enough to influence an individual to go against what is taught by our parents and the Church. A justification?
For couples that are living together or intend to do so, at some point, didn’t you feel that something was missing in the relationship? I used to be in the same boat and I kind of had the same justifications. The means does not justify the end that is all I can say!
By the way, I had a good response to my question last week. The response to my last week question is this: "It is not the fault of that person. Those people who get intimidated usually are jealous or envious of what this person stands for. It can be that this person is influential, intelligent, have a strong personality, good looking, of authority and power and the like. Somehow, this person may not be even aware of the intimidation he/she projects."
There you are, so be at peace that you are not doing anything wrong. Thank you to the person that responded, however he wanted to stay anonymous.
I would like to greet a very good friend of mine, Pamela Trompeta a Happy, Happy Birthday! Cheers my friend!!!
For your comments please email me at rbuy1028@gmail.com
"Two things a man should never be angry at: what he can help, and what he cannot help."